“Gracie, what are you doing?” Jack asks when I start making my way back to the room where I still keep all my clothes.
“You heard the woman, I’m making sure I stay active.” I pull a jumper out from my closet and attempt to stretch it over my bulging stomach. “It’s a nice crisp day; I think I’ll take a walk around the grounds.” I grin cheerily as I pass him.
“Are you that desperate to get away from me?” he chuckles, taking my hand and pulling me back. “You don’t need to panic, we’re not even at your due date yet; besides, we have things we need to discuss.”
“What kind of things?”
“Plans for after the birth.” He lowers his eyes to the floor.
“Fine.” I may not like thinking about it, but that doesn’t mean I can pretend it’s not happening. I have a few questions myself. “But we can walk and talk?” I continue walking out the door, hearing him sigh in defeat as he follows me.
“I think it’s time for you to sit down.” Jack stops again when we get to a bench near the clearing to the woods.
“I’m absolutely fine,” I lie, out of breath and feeling like I’m carrying a boulder.
“You're not fine.” He places his hand under my belly.
“What are you doing?” I laugh at how awkward he’s making it for himself to walk.
“If you insist on doing more walking, I'll take some of the weight.”
I shake my head and continue moving forward.
“So what did you want to discuss?” I get us onto the subject we’ve both been avoiding. The house is in view again, and I don’t think I can convince him to let us do another lap of the perimeter.
“Well, most importantly, I’d like to know how long you're prepared to stay once he arrives.” He gets that same sorrowful look in his eyes that's there whenever we talk about me leaving.
“We agreed it wouldn’t have to be a year if I gave you a child,” I remind him, knowing that if I stay here too long, itwould be impossible not to bond with this baby. I’ve no doubt that watching Jack be a father would make me fall for him even harder, too.
“I understand you wish to leave as soon as you can, but you will need time to recover, and the first few days?—”
“I’ve read up on the importance of breastfeeding,” I interrupt, pressing my hand into the base of my spine to support it. “I’m happy to express so he gets a good supply.” I don’t much like the idea of being milked like a cow, but I do want what's best for the baby.
“I’d like you to recover here, where I can take care of you. Labour is a lot for your body to go through and?—”
“Do you really think that's a good idea?” I stop walking and look up at him. “I don’t want to get to know him. He’s yours, not mine. Once my duty of getting him here safely is done, I’d rather move on. I’ve kept the girls waiting long enough.”
“Gracie, you need to at least give yourself a week before you start dashing out of the country. Especially if you refuse to have this baby in the hospital. I know you care deeply for the girls, but you have to think about yourself.”
‘I am thinking of myself,” I assure him sternly, continuing to walk in an awkward silence with him, until we get to the house.
“You should head upstairs and rest,” he tells me when we get inside, sliding his hand from where it still rests beneath my stomach and looking crushed.
“I was going out to the garden to do some reading.” I smile, kissing his cheek and moving through the living room, so I can access the back garden through the patio doors.
I smile to myself when I get to the summer house and see the changes he’s made. There are thick, cosy furs on the chair now; he’s even had a small wood stove installed in the corner. I don’t know when he found the time to get all this done, but it looksso snug and welcoming. I carefully lower myself to sink into the chair and pick up The Cat in the Hat.
“You like this one, don’t you?” I stroke my tummy before opening the book and reading to my little boy.
“How long have you been there?” I ask, opening my eyes and seeing Jack resting on the floor opposite me, watching me sleep.
“I don’t know, an hour, maybe.” I feel a heat coming from beside me, and when I turn my head, I notice that he’s lit the fire and covered me with a blanket.
“You’ve made it cosy in here.” I use the armrest to help me shift position when I realise my ass has gone numb.
“Do you have nothing better to do than watch me sleep?” I laugh, feeling an elbow push out against the hand I’m using to steady my bump.
“Have to make the most of you while I have you.” He smiles sadly.
