Bea draws a zip across her mouth and picks up the list.
“Do you really want me to hire the hotter security guards?” she checks.
“That part you can ignore; I don’t care if they look like gargoyles as long as they can handle someone who oversteps,” I tell her, scooping up my keys and heading out the door.
“And Sophia showed me some of the designs Polly’s been working on; they’re incredible.” Gracie has been a ball of energy since I picked her up, but I notice the way her smile fades as we drive through the estate gates and I return her to her prison.
“Sounds like you had a good time.” I park in front of the house and get out of the car. Gracie never waits for me to open her door for her, despite the number of times that I’ve told her she should. Instead, she continues talking about her time withher friends. “Selena said she’d like us to go to Canada, but I know Polly’s always wanted to go travelling to South America… Sophia will go anywhere, she real doesn–”
“Will you keep your voice down?” I snap. “Do youwantthe staff to hear how you plan to leave me the second the inconvenience of bearing my child is over?” All the anger and frustration I’ve felt the past few weeks comes out in my voice, and Gracie shocks me when, instead of a comeback or a slap to the face, her eyes fill with tears, and she rushes away from me.
My first instinct is to run after her, comfort her, hold her. Tell her I’m sorry, but I know that I’d fuck that up, too. I don’t know how to be around her anymore. I can’t turn off my feelings; every time I’m close to her, I run the risk of pushing things beyond where she wants them to go, so I’m probably better off letting her be.
“Trouble in paradise?” Cecelia comes from the corridor, where I assume she’s bumped into Gracie.
“She’s a little hormonal, probably because she's going to have a baby.” I put her straight and watch the smug look on her face drop.
“Ababy?” She regains herself and chuckles. “No time wasted spreading your seed.” Her tone is as bitter as her expression, and I know telling her will make Gracie even angrier at me than she already is, but I’m happy to take the hit just for the look on her face.
“I have a duty to produce an heir, don’t I? I think father would be proud.” I move past her towards my room, so I can be alone.
“Gracie.” I knock on the library door after checking every other room in the house and starting to panic. I’m relieved to find her curled up in one of the armchairs, reading.
“I didn’t know you liked to read.” I smile as I step inside and sit on the footstool in front of her.
“There's a lot you don’t know about me, Jack.” I can tell from the look she gives me over the top of the book that she’s still pissed off with me.
“I wanted to find you so I could apologise, I shouldn’t have snapped at you the way I did. I’m sorry.”
“There were no staff around, and even if there were, I could have been talking about taking a trip. I’m not stupid.”
“No, you’re not, you're actually one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met,” I admit, resisting the urge to stroke her leg.
“Yeah, well, let’s hope that intelligence is inherited by your child,” she bites, but the slight smile on her face suggests I’m halfway to being forgiven.
“This situation is harder than I thought it would be. I didn’t expect to feel so…it’s just hard.” I back out of telling her how I really feel. Her body is going through a lot of changes; now isn’t the time to complicate things.
“It’s the best way. We have to pretend to everyone else; it’s silly to pretend to ourselves.”
“And what if I’m not pretending?” I put it to her so I can gauge her reaction.
“Jack.” She closes her book and places it on the table beside her. “You're naturally going to feel protective over me because I’m pregnant with your child; it’s a combination of human instinct and your kind nature. Don’t mistake that for something else.”
“I just don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. Aren’t you going to want to know him, or wonder how it would be watching him grow up?”
“He’s not mine, he’s yours, and I know that you are going to give him the most incredible life. You're a good person, Jack, and you're going to be a great father.”
“But—”
“There are no buts, you chose me because having children is the last thing I want. You chose to do this whole thing because you didn’t want a wife. Don’t forget that.” She smiles as she sits forward and strokes my face. “I’ll be more careful about what I say around the house.” She gets up and takes the book with her, leaving me alone in the library, still as frustrated and hopeless as I was when I entered.
GRACE
One Month Later
“Grrr.” I slam my head back on my pillow in frustration. Why is nothing fucking working? Everyone warns you about the sickness and the tender boobs, but nobody tells you that your libido goes into mega drive. I’ve spent the past hour trying to get myself off, and nothing seems to be working. I’m a victim of my own fucking cause. It was my idea to put this space between us, and now all I crave is his hands, his mouth, and hisfuckingcock! I throw off the duvet and stand up, wondering how I’m going to stop the hollow throb in my lower stomach.
Jack’s been avoiding me more and more; hell knows what he’s working on outside, but it seems to take up all the hours of his day. I’m fucking jealous. Jealous because I want that time just as much as I want his attention.
