Alex is right; he never wanted his father’s title. Before his father’s death, he lived a life much like my own. But at least he always knew it would happen someday. Me? I could never have predicted that things would turn out like this. I’ve lived my whole life hidden in the shadows. I’ve done things for this family that no living person will ever know. To the knowledge of everyone standing out there grieving my father, my only responsibility has been to be unheard and unseen. They couldn’t be more wrong.
“Things are going to change, people will treat you differently. You have to be prepared for that,” Alex warns, taking a sip from his tumbler and looking impressed by its quality. “Those people out there…” Redirecting his glass to point at the door, he starts to get agitated, “...they’re all fucking vultures. Your new title, your fortune, it all comes at a cost. And never knowing who you can trust is the worst of it.”
“Fuck.” I take my father's chair when I realise this problem isn’t going anywhere. “So what do you suggest I do?” Resting my head back, I scrub my hand through my stubble. It’s hard to believe that this time, two weeks ago, I was in St. Tropez gettingmy dick sucked by a French model on the president of Portugal’s yacht.
“Despite the relationship you had with him, your father was a good man. Your brother?—”
“Was an entitled little cunt,” I cut him off before he tries putting it politely. Alex doesn’t have to put on any airs and graces with me. We both know the shit Thomas has pulled in the past. What Alex doesn’t know is that every timeI’vebeen the one who’s had to clean up his mistakes.
“What I’m saying is…this could be good for you…Hell, it turned out pretty good for me.” He smiles optimistically.
“Come on, Alex, we both know I’m not cut out to be a fucking duke. I’m pleased for you that you're happy, but I’m never going to be a family man. I’m never going to want a wife to answer to. I’ve grown up having all the privileges of being an aristocrat’s bastard. Thomas was prepped for this bull shit from the day he was born; he was taught how to be around thosevultures, and he thrived on it. You think I don’t see the way those people look at me? I’m a nobody to them, an imposter. A thirty-year-old fucking scandal.” I tug at the tie that’s around my neck because it feels like it's choking me.
“Like my sister is,” Alex points out. “You see Bea feeling sorry for herself and letting those assholes intimidate her?”
“Jack, you don’t have to go straight, you just have to be careful.”
“Says the man who sold his sex club to my father the second he put a ring on his wife's finger,” I remind him. “The pressure got to you, Alex, and that's okay, because you're happy…But that isn’t going to be the case with me. I don’t want this crap.”
“Your father had been after The Residence for years; it was the only place that ever showed him any competition.” He laughs, and although it confuses me, I continue to listen. “I sold the club because it felt tainted, and I wanted to give more of mytime to my family. Your father was clever in how he made the purchase. I’m assuming he’s been clever in ensuring you own it now.”
I nod my head.
“I know the shit you’ve done, Jack. Your father was a good friend and confidant when I found myself in the very position you're in now. I know you’ve done way more than just run his distribution business.”
It shouldn’t surprise me that my father would have confided in Alex about things I assumed he’d want to take to the grave, especially now I know what hisbigplan was. Everything seems a little clearer.
Since I was a teenager, my father has always ensured that mine and Alex’s paths cross. As we grew up, we became allies in the sort of business duke's sons should never be a part of. The only difference was that my father was aware; he was a part of it. It was the only way I could prove myself and make him proud. But not for Alex; his father made it very clear that he’d always be ashamed of his son.
“Yeah, and Alex, that's the only kind of business I know. How can I be the duke of this place? I’ve visited Fairfax twice in my whole life, and even then, I was hardly welcomed.” I feel the frustration in me growing. All day, I’ve found ways to stop it from erupting; gotten through the best I can, but here in this room with the one person I feel I can trust, I can feel all my defenses slipping.
“You’ll learn to find the balance. I’ll help you,” Alex reassures me. Taking the empty glass from my hand before I shatter it, and topping it up.
“I’m out of my depth. I’ve been a hidden secret for too long. Warned, over and over again, to stay the fuck away from this place, and now I’m expected to step into the spotlight. I can’t do it. I’m beyond fucking help, Alex.” All I can feel is anger towardsmy father…not just for dying but for leaving everything he owns, including his title, to that kid he could barely fucking look at. The man has spent my entire life refusing to publicly acknowledge me; he continually exploited my eagerness to please him, and yet in death, he labels me his fucking heir.
“I get that you're scared, but your dad did all this for a reason.”
“I’m not scared, Alex, you know me. I don’t getfuckingscared. I’m just… confused. All this feels like some kind of joke.”
“You’ll deal with it, the way you do everything else. Head on. You may not be used to all this, but you're smart, and you’ve got something that those people out there will never have.”
I wait for him to reveal what that magical something is because I sure as hell need it… “You're streetwise. Your dad never relied on that weak-assed son to get the real shit done…You got yourself to where you wanted to be out there, now you’ve just got to figure out a way to do it here.”
“How do you do it?” I shake my head and laugh. “Men like us, we live for the chaos, we like taking risks. Weneedthe danger. Where the fuck is that edge we crave in all of this?”
“You’ve clearly never been to one of Elizabeth Winfield's garden parties.” Alex tries being smart, but I’m struggling to see any fucking humour in this situation.
“You want to know the truth?” Alex drops the clever grin from his face when he sees I’m not laughing and gets serious with me. “I found somebody that I wanted to turn good for. She became my chaos, and I figured that the risk of losing her was one I wasn’t prepared to take.” It’s unmistakable how much that girl has changed him; everything about him seems to soften when he talks about her.
“Yeah, well, as much as I appreciate hearing your little fairy story, I can tell you that it won’t be happening to me.” That is the one thing, right now, I can be sure of.
“We’ll see.” Alex shrugs as he starts making his way towards the door.
“Wait, where are you going?” I don’t feel like we’ve come close to finishing our conversation. There's still so much I need to ask him.
“I’ve got to get my duchess home.” He winks before seeing himself out, leaving me in the office that's suddenly feeling like a prison cell.
I stare at the liquid that's left in my glass as I swish it around, and when the door opens again, and Cecelia lets herself in, I feel all that rage bubble right to the surface again.
