It was the pleading in her tone, the hopeful expression that did it. Squeezing my lids shut, I rubbed at my eyes, wishing it would erase the visuals flashing behind them of those worst moments as a kid.
“All I can remember are children’s homes and foster homes, never a place of my own. I was a scrawny kid, so I got picked on a lot, and was shy on top of all that.” I reached up and grabbed her hips, needing the comfort of holding her to keep going. “Knowing what I know now, after a lot of research on the subject, my being isolated and shy made me a perfect target for predators to groom. The first time, I was so excited. I thought the old man running the foster home really thought I was special, that his extra attention meant I was important to someone.” A humorless laugh escaped. “And I was… only not the way I wanted to be.”
“West.” The heartbreak in her voice had me slowly opening my eyes. Tears rimmed her lower eyelids, threatening to spill over.
“It was the first time I learned that being used like that came with a mixed bag of emotions. Shame, disgust, but also longing, because even with the pain and other emotions, at least someone wanted me around, had picked me. That started an entire cycle of abuse, different houses, different types, until I ran away from that final foster home.” A cruel smile curled at my lips. “He was a mean motherfucker who hit the boys on a daily basis, which we could take, but the night he turned his fist on Cindy, a foster girl who was already terrified and years younger than me, I lost it. I never checked to see if he had died from the injuries.” I lifted a single shoulder, truly not caring. “But I knew the cops would come for me either way, so I ran. With nowhere to go, I endedup living on the streets of Portland until I turned eighteen, then walked into an Army recruitment center and signed my life away.
“Boot camp was hell. I was so weak and malnourished from barely keeping myself alive. But I made it, and after a while, my commanding officers noticed I was decent with fixing things around base and anything with an engine, so they put me in the mechanics division, where I finally found my niche. After I served my time and had gained a whole lot of useful experience, I moved to Alaska, wanting a fresh start and to put as much distance between me and my past as possible. I worked at different shops as a mechanic but missed the community I had in the Army. That’s when I learned about Uplift. I dropped everything to travel here, interviewed with Brandon, and was hired that day. The rest is history, I guess.”
“That is a lot of traumas in a few sentences,” she whispered, eyes wide. “West, how are you here and so…youafter all that?”
“So me?”
“Kind, thoughtful, funny, happy, generous, sexy….” She said the last one with a wink. “But seriously, you should be angry at the world and blaming everything on what was done to you, so yeah, how are you soyouafter all that?”
“I have my bad days; you’ll find that out soon enough. But a while back, I decided I wouldn’t allow my past to dictate who I turned out to be. So instead of focusing on what happened to me, which I can’t change, I focus on the good, and on seeing the good in people.” My lips curved into a slow smile. “I think that’s why I’m basically Langston’s only friend.”
Juno barked a laugh and wiped the few tears that had escaped off her cheek.
“He can be a major asshole, but when you really see him, see who he is?—”
“It’s confusing as hell,” she mumbled. “So contradictory, those two sides of him. But I understand what you’re saying. The person he shows everyone differs from who he actually is.”
“Exactly. So that’s the sad summary of my childhood and as deep as I can go today.”
Pitching forward, she placed a chaste kiss on my lips. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’m here no matter what, West. I don’t know what the future holds for the three of us, but I will always be here for you. Always.”
I moved my good hand from her hip to wrap around her waist. “Thank you.” I cleared my throat and forced a smile, hoping it would help lift the somber mood. “So, the wedding. What will it be? Are we going or staying here with an unknown threat lurking around?” I waggled my brows, letting her know that last part was to lighten the conversation.
She blew a raspberry, face tipped to the ceiling. “As apprehensive as I am at seeing my stepfather and everyone else I left behind, I feel like I need to go.”
“Need to go or want to go?”
“Need,” she clarified. “For closure on that part of my life. I want Stephanie and Eric to see I’m not happy for them. I’m not upset or jealous about it either. That part of me that felt like a gaping hole the last several months doesn’t hurt like it did. I’m finally healing, and maybe letting everyone back home see that can give me the closure I need.”
“So we go.” I slid my gaze to my very empty closet. “We might need to go a day early, stop in Anchorage. I’m not sure about you, but I have nothing appropriate to wear to a wedding.”
She grimaced, making me bark a laugh at the disgust on her face. “I have nothing to wear either, but I really hate shopping. What about Langston?”
“When he visits Mattie and his nephew, she always takes him shopping around Vegas to update his wardrobe. I can sayfor certain that I will need to find something. I only have a few pieces of clothing. Old habits die hard—less stuff in the black trash bag the next time you have to move houses.”
She crossed her arms and gave me a pointed look. “But you have a home here now, a real one. You’re surrounded by people who love you and aren’t going anywhere. Maybe it’s time to buy a little more than what’s absolutely necessary?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him.”
Juno’s head whipped around, sending her hair flying to the side, at Langston’s deep voice. He stood in the doorway, green eyes focused on us. “Hey, you’re back. How was today?”
The slight vibration in her shaky tone gave away her uncertainty and vulnerability. Langston had no idea the impact his answer would hold. Intervention was needed before he innocently said the wrong thing, not knowing her worries about him and the female clients.
“Juno was worried you would want one of those women from the group today over her.”
A surprised squeak escaped her and she tried to slap a palm over my mouth, but I smacked her hand away, gripping it in a tight hold at her side.
“She thinks they were prettier than her and had cool gear, which meant they were good at fishing and you would want them because of it.”
Her chest rose and fell in deep breaths as she glared down at me.
“Traitor,” she whispered, sticking out her tongue.
