“You two are ridiculous,” I chided, but there was no truth to it. Because if I was finally ready to be theirs, then it was time to be truly honest with myself. I loved their overprotective, caveman sides when it came to me.
Free hand pressed to Langston’s firm ass, I pushed off for leverage, angling my face toward West. Blowing the hair out of my eyes, I shot him a wry smile. “I’m sorry I thought the worst about you two.”
“And yourself?” I huffed and shook my head. “But I get it; I would too if I went through what you did.” He looked over Langston’s shoulder once we entered his room, West’s smirk growing to a conspiring grin. “Hold on.”
“What—” The word was cut off when I was tossed into the air. All those drinks and nachos rolled in my stomach as I free-fell. The air rushed from my lungs when my butt and then back landed on a soft mattress, the pillows around my head bouncing from the impact.
Elbows pressed into the thick quilt, I started to say something snarky, but the words, and all thoughts at all, dried up.
Both men were stripping off their clothes, shirts already removed and piled on the floor. The front of Langston’s jeans was undone, hanging open precariously low on his hips as he helped a sheepish looking West unfasten his.
“And you say you’re not romantic,” I whispered. “That right there is.”
“That’s functional and helping a friend, not romantic,” West said, removing his glasses and tossing them on top of the dresser.
Their jeans removed and added to the growing pile of clothes, both men were clad only in tight boxer briefs. I wiped at my lips to remove any drool. Holy hell, they were mouthwateringly sexy. West with his full back tattoo and others along both ribs, plus his lean and muscular frame, was so picture-perfect that I wondered if he’d ever considered modeling. Then there was Langston, with his full sleeves that bled onto his defined pecs, bad attitude, and constant scowl. He looked deadly, in the hottest way possible.
Langston paused on one side of the bed, West on the other. With a lot of shifting and wiggling, I scooted under the thick quilts, allowing them to slide into the sheets beside me.
Held breath burning in my lungs, I waited for the touching to begin, for one of them to grab my boob or stick their hand down my pants. The weight of sexual expectations felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. Not that I didn’t want to per se—everything that happened on the couch earlier was great—but the expectancy of sex when in bed together was so drilled into me that I dreaded going to bed, knowing I would have to do that before I could sleep.
I stayed stiff, completely still, like I always would with Eric, hoping I’d get a pass on the obligation. Which was so fucking dumb because I actually wanted the two men beside me, but my head was a complicated, messed-up mess.
“Why are you so tense right now?” Langston asked, turning on his side to face me. I felt the heat of his stare on my cheek. When I didn’t respond, he sighed. “Juno, talk to us. We can’t help if we don’t know what’s going on in that mind of yours.”
Swiping my tongue over my lips, I tried to swallow to ease my suddenly dry throat. “I told y’all I was broken,” I whispered. “And you didn’t believe me.”
“If anyone is broken in this bed, it’s me, Juno, so please don’t say that again,” West rasped. “Talk to us.”
My hair scraped against the pillow when I turned to face him. “How would you be broken? You’re perfect. I was just thinking that when you were getting undressed. Sexy, good with your hands, kind—you’re all the things, West.”
His sad smile broke my heart a little. “My past is dark and full of monsters who took advantage of any situation they could, sweet cheeks. But we’re not focusing on my triggers right now,” he said with a deprecating chuckle. “What’s going on in that brilliant mind of yours?”
The weight of my silence hung heavily in the dark room, the quiet only interrupted by the pitter-patter of tiny paws on the hardwood floor before a weight landed at the foot of the bed. Padding across the quilt, GG moved up toward us, doing a few circles before finding a snug spot between me and Langston. Pulling a hand free from beneath the covers, I stroked her soft head, debating how to answer them.
“There was always the expectation of sex,” I blurted. “With Eric?—”
“I really don’t enjoy hearing another man’s name, especially his, when you’re in my bed.” Langston pouted, making me smile despite the heavy memories filling my thoughts.
“It was always the focus, the expectation or obligation, I guess. For example, when we went on vacation or went away for a weekend, he would talk about how he couldn’t wait to have sex at least three times a day. It wasn’t about spending time away with me or being away from work so we could focus on each other, just sex. It made it this heavy expectation that I dreaded. Sex began to be something I resented because it wasan obligation. It was all he wanted from the relationship, not the intimacy or a partnership, just sex. That was his need from me and the only thing he ever focused on as a measure of how our relationship was going. It felt very transactional, like if he got what he wanted, then we had a good time; if he didn’t, then, well, I would hear about how cold I was, that he wasn’t getting what he needed, blah blah blah. Listen, I get that men need sex. It’s part of how they feel connected?—”
“That’s a fucked-up statement, Juno,” Langston interrupted. “You’re making it sound like all we want is sex and not the relationship side of it. Maybe that’s true with some men, but how empty is that if you don’t have the connection with your partner to go with it? That’s like treating your partner, the person you say you love, like a fucking cum dumpster.”
“Ew,” I laughed. “That’s a disgusting visual.”
“But an accurate one,” West added. “So, us crawling into bed with you triggered the thought that we expected sex because we’re in bed with you?”
“Well, yeah. Don’t you?” I asked.
“If you jumped on me naked, I wouldn’t say no.” Langston shifted on the bed, disturbing GG. A heavy arm dropped across my chest as he sealed himself to my side. “But I’m getting everything I need knowing you’re here and safe, and in my bed beside me. I feel like I won the damn lottery right now.”
“And the two people I care about the most have finally admitted they’re fucking obsessed with each other; they just show it in their own strange ways.” I smacked West on the chest, making all three of us laugh. “And you’re here beside me.” He shifted so he was pressed against my other side, drawing an arm around my waist just below Langston’s. “And in my arms. But this means nothing if you’re not comfortable or not getting what you need, Juno. Tell us, talk to us. Don’t just expect the worst because that’s how it was before.”
This time, the silence in the large room was freeing.
“Okay.” I slid my arm back under the blankets. “So, you’re both okay just going to sleep right now?”
“Is that what you want?”
