Her lips parted with a quick inhale. “Except right now, right?” she whispered. “I mean, I rolled out of bed after a shit night’s sleep, weighing the pros and cons of being more than friends with you, and?—”
Unable to take another second of being so close to her lips and not feeling them against mine, I sealed them together. Her soft moan had her lips parting, opening up enough for me to tease my tongue against the tip of hers. Heat flooded my veins while my cock instantly stiffened. Her hand wrapped around the back of my neck, urging me closer.
Mine slid down her spine, over her perfect ass to palm one firm cheek.
Pulling back, Juno sucked down several deep breaths. “Fuck, you’re good at that.”
“So are you,” I murmured, leaning in close to brush my lips against hers again, unable to resist. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been this turned on from a kiss before.”
Her eyes slid down my chest and widened at my very obvious stiff cock desperate to escape my boxer briefs.
“West.” Her hand trembled as she reached between us to brush the tips of her fingers along my taut abs. “I wish we could be more than friends. You don’t know how bad I want that.” When she looked up, tears filled her lower lids, making my stomach drop. “But I’m too broken for someone like you.”
“What are you talking about, Juno?” I stepped back, needing the distance to focus on her words and figure out what the fuck was going on.
Grabbing the edge of the counter, she lifted herself up and sat beside her nearly steaming mug. With her head drooped forward, her hair hung like a curtain, keeping me from seeing her face.
The tension radiating off her pulled me closer.Knuckle under her chin, I tilted her face until her sad eyes met mine.
“Talk to me,” I murmured, scanning features that were filled with joy just seconds ago, now replaced with hesitation and fear. “What do you mean, for someone like me?”
“It means I’m broken, West. In all the ways that matter in a relationship, a good relationship. I’m broken here and here.” She tapped the side of her head and then over her heart. “You don’t deserve someone who has scars this deep, ones that will never, ever heal.” A single tear slipped down her round cheek. “I want you. I want to be more than friends with you, but I know it won’t work, and I can’t risk losing what we do have.”
“Juno, I’m not following. Risk losing what?”
“That I’ll lose you as a friend when it doesn’t work out or risk the chance that you’ll re-break the little parts of me I’ve spent the last several months trying to piece back together.” More tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, dripping down her chin. “I can’t go through that again, West. I barely survived it once; a second time would destroy me forever.”
I’d never hated my bandaged hand more than I did in that exact moment, desperate to hold her damp cheeks between both palms. Cradling one, I brushed a thumb over her soft skin, wiping away the tears.
“You’re scared.” She nodded, teeth sunk into her lower lip to keep it from quivering. “Of me?” I asked softly.
“Of what you could do to me, and the chance that even with someone like you, someone amazing, sexy, funny?—”
“Hell of a kisser,” I added with a wink.
“—that I’m too broken to be worth anything to anyone.” Her voice cracked, making my heart do the same. But at the same time, vengeful rage spiked my pulse, knowing someone made the amazing woman in front of me question her worth.
“You keep using that word. What makes you think you’re broken, sweet cheeks? Who lied to you enough times that you actually believed it?”
“It’s not a lie. After….” She squeezed her eyelids shut. “After him, what he did, it broke me on the inside even more than I already was. Now, bonus, I don’t trust anyone on top of my other issues.” She sniffed and wiped at her nose. Grabbing the roll of paper towels, I ripped one off and placed it in her trembling hand. “I lost so much of myself for years, not realizing I was becoming someone I didn’t recognize, and then when he betrayed me in the worst way possible, I broke. I don’t even know where the parts of myself, my true self, are anymore. I’m trying to find them little by little, but I might never be whole, West.”
“Why do you feel you have to do that alone, Juno?” Her eyes fluttered open, and a faint line formed between her brows. “Why do you feel you have to do all the healing by yourself, with no support?”
“Because….” She leaned forward, pressing her forehead to mine. “I don’t know how to trust you, or anyone, really. I did that before, put complete blind faith in someone who promised me the world, and then one day they decided that promise didn’t matter to them anymore, only what made them happy. And all those years of conforming and molding and trying and giving suddenly meant nothing. There is no undoing or healing that deep a scar, West. It’s just there, a permanent fixture on mysoul reminding me that everyone leaves, no matter what they tell you.”
“Doing that kind of healing alone, with no one to talk to or be there with you in the silence so it doesn’t feel so dark and soul-absorbing, I agree.” Pulling back, I grabbed her hand and interlaced our fingers. Seeing her smaller hand, the blue nails resting on my scarred knuckles, had a soft smile forming. “I agree because I know what feeling like you can’t trust anyone again is like, that you’ll never be truly happy again. And then I came here, met Langston—” I huffed a laugh when she rolled her eyes. “He’s a really great friend and man, Juno. I know you two butt heads, but his hypervigilance about protecting everyone in his life comes from something that happened when he was a kid.”
“Oh, I….” She bit her lower lip. “I don’t know how to respond to that.”
“When I came here, I was alive but not living. Do you understand what I mean?” She nodded. “And then I opened up to Langston, the other guys, and even to Amy. They’ve helped me realize I didn’t have to fight my past and demons alone, and that with their help, I could move past what happened. Those scars are still there, and the memories sometimes dig their claws in, refusing to let go, but it’s a process, a long process that I’m glad I don’t have to walk alone.”
“I’m not sure I’m there yet,” she admitted. “And I don’t know when I will be.”
“That’s okay. I’m guessing it hasn’t been that long since… it happened?”
I couldn’t even say the words out loud. The idea of someone hurting my Juno on purpose, knowing the pain their actions would cause her, made me so fucking angry I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep that out of my tone. And while I wasn’t sure whathappened in that relationship she was referring to, I assumed expressing my anger right now wasn’t smart.
“Almost a year ago,” she whispered, looking down at the floor. “I wanted to make it work so bad. I loved him.” When she looked back up, fresh tears had fallen. “But when I realized he didn’t have any intention of putting in the same effort, that I wanted us more than he did, I left. I started looking for a job away from my hometown the next day and found the Uplift posting.”
