“I don’t want to talk to you or anyone else,” I snap, and attempt to move around him again. He meets me toe for toe, and I grunt in frustration. “Just let me go, Avrum.”
“You and I both know I… can’t.”
My fury runs wild now. “Like hell you can’t!”
“Haven, please,” he says with even more gentleness. “You must listen to me. I did not know what Henri was doing to you. I had no idea.”
I shake my head, refusing to hear any of his pitifulexcuses. “It doesn’t matter. You know now.” I step to the right, he follows me, frowning deeply. I shift left, and he does the same, refusing to let me get any further from the manor.
His gaze drops to my wrist, and he reaches out to touch it but I jerky away. “Don’t touch me!” I yell, breathing hard. “Don’t you dare touch me. You left me there, tied to his bed like some kind of animal. I saw you and you left me!”
He looks away. Ashamed. “There was nothing I could do then,” he mutters, his voice wavering. “I was frightened.”
To my own surprise, I find myself wanting to believe him, but the soreness of my muscles and the throbbing of my wounds are a constant reminder that I can’t trust him. Not even a little.
Problem is, the fury I felt before is dissolving quickly. And although I’m trying desperately to hold onto it, it’s changing into something else entirely. Empathy. Instead, my heart is aching for him.
What is wrong with me?
“I regret my fear,” Avrum continues immediately, as if he’s talking to himself more than to me. “I was a fool. A complete and utter fool. I cannot believe I didn’t see it sooner. I would have never brought you back here if I knew.” Finally, his eyes lift to meet mine, and sorrow and remorse are the first things I see. “Why didn't you tell me?”
“Forgive me for not trusting your kind,” I reply.
“I understand,” he sighs. “I do not trust my kind either.Not anymore, at least.” He reaches out for me again, but this time, I don’t flinch or move away. Instead of touching me, he lowers my hood.
“Has he…touchedyou…” he starts, but struggles with the words. “Has he—the very thought of it turns my stomach—”
Knowing exactly what he’s referring to, my cheeks flame. “No. Not yet... but I’m sure he will soon. Henri is mad. He calls me Linna. He thinks I’m in love with him.” It all comes rushing out of me.
His brows rise in shock. “What? Who is Linna?”
“I don’t know. But he’s convinced I am her,” I say. “This is why I have to leave Greystone. I’ve been fighting him, but he grows impatient. I know I don’t have much longer before he… before he…”
“I know,” is all he says.
“Then you understand why I’ve been running away.”
“I do.”
“But he’s your lord,” I reply. “He’ll expect you to support him no matter what.”
His gaze locks with mine so tightly, I feel my very heart constricting with it. “Not anymore.” The words pain him to say.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Believe what you want, but I can’t let you go to the city.” I open my mouth to argue, but he holds up a hand to stop me. “I’ve been removed as your caretaker. Henri has appointed Keagan instead, and when he discovers you are gone…”
Any of the remaining hope I had left vanishes with themention of that name. Keagan. The slimy guard from the lake who’s always groveling at Henri’s feet and trying to sneak a feel whenever I’m around.
He must’ve read my expression because he says, “Yes, exactly, and that’s why I can’t let you go, knowing the punishment that would await you.”
A chill runs up my spine, making me shiver. I pull the cloak tighter around me for warmth, even though I know it’s not the cold that’s making me tremble.
“When I found you there in the corner of the room… heart barely beating, I…” Pressing his lips together, he pauses. He can barely speak. Anguish contorts his face. Genuine concern and worry for me. I can see it clearly now, and it causes something inside me to spark to life. It begins at the bottom of my belly, and like a candle’s flame, the warmth grows in size and power, stretching upward into my chest and settling at the center.
Right then, I want to tell him that I understand his fear. That pain. It’s something I even struggle to talk about.
Is it possible that Avrum actually has a heart, and that he does want to help me? If so, that means that Emma was right. Avrum does care about me.
