“I’m not s-scared of you—”
Joe held up a hand. “We’re going to talk. And the first thing you’re going to tell me is why you wrote your safe word on the note you gave me.”
When Joe fell silent, Scott knew that was his cue to start talking.
This. This was the reason why he’d written it down, because all he wanted to say when he sat face to face with Joe was “yes, sir”. Scott closed his eyes. Joe wanted an answer from him. He couldn’t keep him waiting forever. He had to say something.
“You t-told me that saying my s-safe word would stop everything that was h-h-happening between us.”
“And that’s what you want?” Joe asked, his tone of voice just slightly off. “For everything to stop?”
“I th-think it would be best,” Scott said, unable to manage anything more than a whisper.
“That’s not what I asked. Forget about what’s best. Is it what youwant?”
Scott opened his eyes. Joe was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, one fist wrapped around the other. Scott stared down at Joe’s hands.
“I w-want…”
A complete hush reigned for what felt like hours. Scott had never realised Joe had so much patience. He’d never realised he could hold his own breath for so long either.
“I’m n-not like you,” Scott blurted out, when suffocation was his only option other than some sort of speech.
“Oh?” Joe prompted.
“I’ve never been able to move from one g-guy to the next without g-g-giving a damn about anyone I s-screw,” Scott stammered.
“Good.” Joe said it so simply, as if everything was that easy.
“But it’s not g-good!”
“It isn’t?”
Finally, Scott met Joe’s gaze. “N-no. Because…b-because you’re y-you and…and I’m m-me, and…”
Joe stared back at Scott, his forehead furrowing. He really didn’t seem to get why those two facts alone meant that Scott needed to run for a set of hills as big as the Alps.
Scott ran his hands over his face as he groaned with frustration.
I have to go because I’m falling in love with a man who I know can’t possibly love me in return.It was the obvious thing to say, and at the same time, the one thing he couldn’t possibly say.
“I n-need to go,” Scott muttered, and promptly sealed his lips before any further words could escape.
He pulled himself to his feet and tried to step past Joe, desperate to get out of there before his mouth won out over his brain and he ended up even more humiliated than he already was.
Suddenly, Joe’s hands encircled both Scott’s wrists. He’d moved so quickly the air must have blurred. He remained in his seat while Scott stood over him. But that didn’t make his grip any weaker; it didn’t alter his innate dominance either.
“You promised to do whatever I want tonight,” Joe said.
Scott frowned down at him in confusion. “W-What?”
“Earlier this evening, you offered to do whatever I want tonight.”
Scott blinked. “You said you’d w-wait and open the envelope at the end of the n-n-night.” It was impossible to keep the accusation out of his tone. Scott had come so close to having one more perfect evening with him…
“No. Youaskedme to keep the letter for later. You made a request. I just didn’t choose to grant it.” Joe was silent for a few seconds, as if to let those facts sink into Scott’s mind.
Scott nodded his acceptance. Everything Joe had said was accurate after all. Scott had always known that Joe had the final say in anything and everything they did together.
