“You said there’d be more explanation, sir.”
“Yes.”Arslan rested his forehead against Ryland’s temple for a few moments, but whichever way he turned the situation, Ryland was right.Things had to be properly settled between their minds before they could move on to anything else.
“I meant it, sir—no allowances.I’ll learn how to be like a lion, learn how to be exactly what you want.”The words were whispered against Arslan’s shoulder, but no matter how hushed they were, both the individual words and their meaning was clear.
Arslan forced himself to pull back far enough to look down into Ryland’s eyes.
“Wanting to please your mate is natural.But you need to remember that I won’t be pleased with you if you’re so busy worrying about playing the part of a lion that you forget that I fell in love with a human.”
Ryland looked up at him, his surprise obvious.
“Did you think I’d ask you to be my mate on a whim, pet?”
Ryland shook his head.“I just wasn’t sure if…how lions might… I’d rather you didn’t make allowances, sir.”
Coaxing Ryland backwards, Arslan guided him to sit down on the edge of the bed before sitting beside him.“Because?”
Ryland stared at the rug by the side of the bed for a few long moments.“Because I tried asking someone to make allowances for me a long time ago.And I learned from my mistake—I won’t do that again.”
Arslan reached out and set his hand very gently on his pet’s back, offering what comfort he could.It had been drummed into him from the time he was old enough to listen that humans were fragile, vulnerable creatures.Staring down at Ryland’s bowed head, he could easily believe every word of it was right.
“Your housemate mentioned that you’re not on easy terms with your family,” Arslan said, carefully.
“Bit of an understatement, sir,” Ryland muttered.
“Lions have never considered which sex someone is attracted to to be important.It’s not…” He trailed off as he felt Ryland tense.
“That’s what everyone thinks,” Ryland whispered after a while.“That they chucked me out when they found out I’m gay.I generally just let them think that.It’s easier.People understand homophobia.But my family they’re not homophobic at all.”
Arslan stroked his palm up and down Ryland’s spine and waited.
“They threw me out when they found out I was applying to study mathematics in university rather than medicine.”
Arslan tried to follow.He failed.
Ryland gave a sad little chuckle.“In 1518, a small group of doctors petitioned Henry VIII to set up the Royal College of Physicians.One of the group was Harold Gilford.Since then, every single sodding Gilford knew what he was going to be when he grew up—the daughters, too, once the universities started letting women in.You could say medicine is kind of the family business.The Gilford family is actually kind of a big deal in medical circles.It’s a point of family pride.”
“And when they found out you weren’t intending to…” Arslan realised.
Ryland laughed, but there was no humour in it.“I’d guessed they’d be furious.I expected a lot of shouting to start with, maybe trailing off into snark and barbs over the years.But I never thought they’d actually cut me out of their lives completely, not long term.”For a few seconds, he was silent.“They said there was no way I’d make it on my own.They said I’d come crawling back once I was broke and had to drop out.That I’d end up begging them for help.But I won’t—I won’t ask them to help me retrain as a medical doctor, and I won’t ask them to help me finish my bloody PhD either.”
Arslan put his arm around Ryland and guided him to rest against him.
Ryland took a deep breath.His shoulders trembled as he made an obvious effort not to let it out as a sigh.“I should have known how it would be.I shouldn’t have let myself pretend that it would all be fine with them in the end.That’s the way it works, isn’t it?You have to fit in.I get that now.You follow the rules—even the bloody stupid ones that make no sense to you.You do what’s expected of you, and you don’t ask anyone to make allowances.”He took another deep breath.“I won’t make the same mistake again, sir.”
Arslan pressed a kiss onto the top of his head.
“I won’t lose this, too,” Ryland whispered.“I won’t.”
Wrapping him completely in his embrace, Arslan held him as tightly as he dared and tried not to let on just how irresponsible for his actions he would be if he set eyes on any member of Ryland’s family right then.The closeness seemed to help Ryland find the courage to speak.
“You want to know what they said when I finally worked up the courage to tell them I was gay?”Ryland whispered.
Arslan didn’t trust himself to speak, but he made an encouraging little noise in the back of his throat and that seemed to be enough.
“There’s still plenty of work to be done in the field of HIV research.Having a Gilford find a vaccine or a cure for that would be quite a feather in the family’s cap.”Ryland gave another of those bitter little laughs.“A gay doctor would have been fine with them.I shouldn’t let people think they’re homophobic.It’s just easier not to have to explain just how stupid it all is.Family bloody business.”
Arslan helplessly pressed another kiss to the top of his head.
