“Lions are expected to learn from their mistakes,” Arslan snapped, but he kept his hand where it was as Ryland felt the heat rush to his cheeks.It was the same tone of voice the professor used in his lectures when a student wasn’t only failing to learn, but failing to make what Arslan considered to be a reasonable effort to do so.“If there’s an explanation, now is the time to give it.”
“Being away from you hurt too much, sir,” Ryland rushed out, his toes curling into the hearth rug as he fought to hold his ground in the face of Arslan’s displeasure.
Arslan didn’t speak, but he stroked his thumb over the line of Ryland’s cheekbone, silently encouraging him to go on.
Ryland’s hands clenched into fists behind his back as he held onto the desperate hope that the truth would help.“I couldn’t come back and tell you I wasn’t some kind of whore while I still had Kershaw’s money.And I wanted to come back to you so badly, sir.Borrowing the money off Jason was the only way to do that this fast, and I needed to do it quickly.”
“And what price did you pay for that decision, pet?”Arslan asked him, his voice rough with emotion, even as he made an obvious effort to speak gently to him.
“It wasn’t like that.”He closed his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to tell the truth.“I knew when I took money from him that things could go really wrong, that I might be putting myself in danger.I can’t deny that.”He took a deep breath.“But that wasn’t how he wanted me to repay the debt.It was Mark.Mark Jefferies—Jason’s boyfriend.Jason found out Mark was so busy fussing over him he was flunking out, so he decided I was going to be his new tutor.I… I agreed to work with him every hour there was until his exam.Neither of us left Mark’s room very often after that.We crammed for ten days straight.His exam was late this afternoon.He thinks he’s going to pass.”
“Neither he nor Jason laid a hand on you?”Arslan asked.
Ryland shook his head.“It was fine.Intense…but fine.”
Arslan studied Ryland for a while longer before he seemed willing to believe him.Ryland didn’t miss the relief that flooded into his eyes just before he looked away.
“Very well.Is that debt settled now?”
Ryland wanted to lie so badly, but he knew it wouldn’t help in the long run.“No.I still need to keep tutoring Mark a couple of hours a week until it is, but I can easily fit that in around—”
Arslan shook his head, completely dismissing that idea.“I’ll pay off the remainder of the debt tomorrow.”
It took Ryland a few seconds to realise what Arslan meant.“No.”
Surprise flashed across Arslan’s face.
“No,” Ryland repeated, shaking his head, just so there could be no doubts surrounding the matter.“You can’t.”Arslan couldn’t pay it off for him.The time he’d forced himself to spend away from Arslan had hurt far too much for it all to be wiped away as if he had never even tried to make things right by himself.
“A master takes care of his pet.The pride takes care of its own.”There was as little room for argument in Arslan’s tone as there had been in Ryland’s.“I’d settle the debt if you were a lion.”
Ryland hesitated.He lowered his gaze.“I’m not asking you to treat me like anything other than a lion, sir.”
“But you are telling me that repaying the debt yourself is important to you as a human?”Arslan asked, slipping into that slow, feeling his way forward tone of voice again.
“I’m not asking you to treat me like anything other than a lion,” Ryland repeated.There was nothing that could ever make uttering that sort of request worth the risk.Arslan’s acceptance of him felt far too fragile to test that way.
“You’re not a lion.”
Ryland couldn’t hold back the flinch.The tone wasn’t cruel.The words were nothing more than a statement of fact.Somehow, that just made it worse.
“I’ve never asked you to be,” Arslan added.
“I don’t want allowances made for me, sir.”It was pretty much the only thing Ryland was sure of.He wanted to be the man that he’d believed Arslan thought he was when he made his first offer for him to join the pride.Ryland needed to be that man.For once in his life, he had to be the man those around him wanted him to be.
“You wish to have permission to continue tutoring Mark?”Arslan asked.“To pay back the debt on your own.”
Ryland shook his head.Not at that price.
“I’ll speak to Jason about it all tomorrow,” Arslan decided.
Ryland took a deep breath and let it out very slowly, trying not to care, trying not to believe everything had fallen apart as Arslan said the words.
Arslan stroked his fingers down Ryland’s jaw and tucked a knuckle under his chin.“I’ll give you permission to pay back your loan in your own time and in your own way if it means that much to you, but Jason will be made to understand that you’ll do so on terms that I deem acceptable.Tutoring?Fine.But there will be no disappearing.There will be no keeping you away from your pride.Those are the things that matter to us, pet, not money.”
Part of Ryland wanted what Arslan was offering so badly.But, at the same time, another side of him was equally desperate to be kind of man who never needed to have that kind allowance made for him.Caught between the two ideals, Ryland had no idea what to say.
“A leader takes care of his pride,” Arslan repeated.“But he doesn’t do that by riding roughshod over everyone.If it’s important to you, arrangements can be made for you to pay back the money on your own terms.There’s no harm in that.”
