Ill ruin ya
I swallow.
Me:
Maybe I want to be ruined.
Madison, what in God’s name are you thinking?
Are you insane?
Oh, Gods, I must be.
But this is the most alive I’ve ever felt. Cedrick is… he’s fun. He makes me feel alive and vibrant and like… like there’s actually life worth living. That there’s more than the word of God and the rules set forth within it.
That living can be more than just a devotion to one thing…
You can worship many…
And I think I want to worship Cedrick.
I think I want to kneel at his big, thick, black boots. I want to run my fingers over the buckles and the zipper, feel the smooth texture against the sweat of my palms. I want to bend before him and run my tongue along the seams, soaking it with a part of me.
I’m going to lave his leather until it’s shining in my spit and his self-control snaps and he has no choice but to take me and tie me up and use me however he pleases… just like he did at Mayhem.
I blink the daydream away.
Holy shit.
Is that what I want?
Do I want Mayhem again, too?
My phone buzzes, and I startle.
Cedrick:
Dont tempt me little mouse. Ill eat you alive
Me:
Why me?
I’m turning this conversation around, and it’s not like I exactly want to, but a part of me wants to get to know him, at least a little bit, before I give him all of me.
It takes him a few minutes to respond, but when he does, I’m surprised by the length of it.
Cedrick:
Why not you? Youre absolutely perfect to me Madison. Everything about you since the moment I laid eyes on you has drawn me in and Ill admit Im obsessed. But at this point I think its more than that. I crave you. I crave to see you, to touch you, to know you.
My breath is stuck in my throat as my heart hammers away in my chest. That’s way more than I ever expected from him… and it’s… it’s a lot.
But maybe a lot is a good thing?
I don’t know.
I don’t know how to do any of this.
