“As I’ll ever be,” I mutter before squeezing his hand one last time and stepping out of the car. The autumn air is frigid this morning, and I shiver as it soaks through my thin hoodie, but I welcome the sting because it keeps me alert—and I need to be sharp for this conversation.
“Mother,” I nod my head as Cedrick and I make our way up the stairs. The butler, Roman, stands by the door, and when I meet his gaze, he gives me the warmest smile that makes my own break out across my face.
“What are you doing back here? And who is…this?” she hisses the word with disgust. I chance a glance at Cedrick, and all he does is lift a brow.
“Where’s Father?” I ask instead, ignoring her.
Her eyes narrow, annoyed with my rudeness. “In his office. Why?”
“I wish to speak to you both.” I choke down the nerves.
She looks between us, eyes bouncing for approximately fifteen seconds before she concedes, probably out of sheer curiosity. “Fine. We’ll talk in there.” And then, she turns her back on us and expects us to follow.
“Thank you, Roman.” I smile at him when he holds the door open.
“Mr. Payne,” he returns with a small twitch of his lips, and it makes my heart pang. He’s the only good one here.
The walk through the spacious halls is honestly pretentious,and I wince, but Cedrick doesn’t seem to give a shit about any of it as he walks beside me, head held straight, eyes looking forward, never glancing around.
He doesn’t care where I came from.
He only cares who I am now.
Fuck… I love him.
It nearly steals my breath away.
“Guess who showed up,” Mother says as she pushes open the door to Father’s office. He glances up from his desk, eyes widening when he sees me.
“About time you came home,” he starts, but I cut him off with a hand in the air.
“I’m not home,” I clarify to both of them. “I want to make that clear. I only came by to tell you both something.” And that’s when the nerves really hit. Because this is it.
There’s no going back after this.
Remember, you don’t want to go back.
I hear Cedrick’s voice in my head from what he told me earlier in the car on the way up here, and it steels my resolve. I walk further into the room, feeling Cedrick take matching steps, until we’re directly in front of my father’s desk.
“What’s going on, son?” he asks, eyes imploring, and it takes everything in me to say the words. To know I’m disappointing them but needing to do it anyway—for my own sanity and survival.
For us.
And for me.
“Mother, Father,” I address them both, and when both sets of eyes are on me, I glance down, grab Cedrick’s hand in mine, and entwine our fingers. They’re strong against mine, and they hold me steady as I tremble. “I’m gay. And I just wanted you toknow.” I speak the words to the wall, unable to meet their gazes, but I’ve said them. They’re out there.
I fucking did it.
It’s silent for the length of four heartbeats, and then, my mother screeches, “What?!”
I wince but try to push through. “If you?—”
“This iswrong,Madison! I knew you leaving was going to corrupt you! I just never imagined this!This!”
All the while she’s spitting her fury, my father’s face gets redder and redder. And I know we need to leave—before it’s too late.
I squeeze Cedrick’s hand, and when he reaches over and grips my chin to bring our eyes together, I nod minutely.Yes. Take me away from here.
