This, exactly this, was precisely why he had sworn to himself he would never marry, never tie another person to the broken shadow he was. He could not bear the thought of her looking at him as though he were a monster.
His jaw clenched so tightly he tasted blood, his eyes never leaving hers as he lifted a hand toward her, hesitated, then let it fall, fingers curling into a fist.
Lady Kendrick moved forward towards them and touched Isabella’s shoulder. “My dear girl, come with me,” she murmured softly. “We shall have someone fetch you warm water for your hands.”
But his wife did not move; she only stared back at Cassian, trembling.
His voice, when it came, was low, hoarse. “I… had no intention of frightening you.”
She swallowed, unable to speak. He looked away first, a muscle ticking in his jaw. He inhaled sharply, once, twice, trying to steady the ragged edge of his breath. Then, without another word, he turned.
“Cassian…” Isabella called weakly.
He stilled, but he did not turn.
“Please…”
He shook his head once. He didn’t want to hear what she had to say. He didn’t want to hear her tell him she couldn’t stay married to him in the presence of the ton, so he walked away.
The crowd parted for him in eerie silence, as though afraid he might lash out again. He neither glanced at them nor at the blood on his hands nor at Falchester being half-carried, half-dragged toward the house.
He especially did not look back at Isabella. He could not.
Every whisper, every horrified stare reminded him of why he had built walls so high, no one could breach them. Why he had isolated himself for years. Why he had avoided attachments, avoided tenderness, avoided hope. Because this was his truth.
This was the darkness he had warned her about.
And the look on her face. The fear, the disappointment. It gutted him.
And he feared there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. What was done was done.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
By the time Cassian vanished into the shadows of the wrought-iron archway, Isabella’s tears had begun to fall again. Lady Kendrick wrapped an arm around her, guiding her away from the gawking eyes.
Her throat was tight with a mixture of shock and horror due to the event that followed.
Her husband had walked away from her even after she called out to him. She wasn’t sure what he was thinking except that he apologized for frightening her and left, and she did not know how to reach him.
The carriage Lady Kendrick rode in alone earlier rocked as it rolled away from Lady Darby’s estate, the lamps outside casting long, shivering bars of gold across the interior.
Isabella sat stiffly on the opposite seat, her gloved fingers curled tightly in her lap, her mind replaying the scene in the garden again and again, sighing simultaneously.
That broken, haunted look in Cassian’s eyes as he watched her. She could not scrub it from her memory.
“Well,” Lady Kendrick began, clearing her throat as delicately as one could after witnessing a young man flattened upon a bed of winter roses, “I suppose this is the part where I act like a sensible elder and inquire what on earth transpired back there. Though I confess, I did not expect to see bloodshed at Lady Darby’s ball. A dreadful waste of a perfectly good marble bench.”
Isabella blinked, seemingly returning halfway back to reality, but she could not even fathom reliving the horrible night by retelling what had happened, so Isabella touched her temple.
“Forgive me, Grandmother, my head aches. If you do not mind, may I… may we speak of it another time?”
The older woman softened immediately. “Of course, my dear. I do not require explanations tonight. Rest your mind. We are almost home.”
Isabella nodded, but her thoughts would not obey.
She saw again the moment Cassian had looked at her, his chest heaving, his hands clenched, blood spattered across his knuckles. It was not only fury she had seen. It was somethingdeeper, something ragged and wounded. Something that frightened him. Not her but him.
She swallowed hard and looked out at the passing streets, but each time she shut her eyes, she saw his expression again, the way his face had collapsed when he realized she stood trembling behind him.
