***
“You’re pregnant.”
The man in the white coat says it, and I blink, convinced I’m still under the effects of fainting.
“I’m sorry?” I ask, certain I misunderstood.
“Congratulations, Mom,” he says with a smile, lowering the papers in his hands and leaning closer across the desk. “The pregnancy is still early. Six weeks.”
A nervous laugh escapes my throat before I can stop it.
That’s not possible. I can’t be pregnant.
“Doctor, I think there’s been a mistake,” I say, my voice trembling. The kind-looking man lowers his eyes to the papers again.
“Is your name Nina Marchesi?”
“Yes?”
“Then there’s no mistake, Nina. You’ve been pregnant for six weeks.”
This time, when the world spins, the ground stays where it is.
The rest of the conversation with the doctor is a blur, and when I come back to myself, I’m already on the ferry, crossing back to Khione without the faintest idea of how I got here.
Panic was a cold, rushing tide inside me.
Pregnant.
I’m pregnant.
No matter how many times I repeat the information in my head, it still feels unreal.
I’m not stupid. I knew there was a chance. A ridiculously small one, sure—but still a chance.
We only had sex once without a condom. It was a lapse in judgment. One of thoseit was impossible to stopmoments I always judged when it happened to other people.
Because I’d only been on birth control for a short time, Nero and I decided that taking the morning-after pill as a precaution was the best option. But of course, out of everyone who could end up as part of a bizarre statistic, I had to be the chosen one.
Pregnant.
I’m pregnant.
I bury my face in my hands, wishing I could disappear.
The consequences of this reality overturn every certainty and plan I had, leaving nothing in its place. Everything is going to change. Everything already has.
I feel like my head is underwater—blind and deaf to the rush—while at the same time the world twists into a cacophony of sounds, smells, and colours around me, none of which I can identify.
I stand up. Walk to the side door of the ferry and step outside. The cold wind lashes my face and floods my lungs as I gulp it down, swallowing along with it a shred of clarity.
I need to tell Nero.
All my certainties have abandoned me except this one.
I need to tell him.
Hiding it or waiting simply aren’t options—even though I can’t yet grasp all the different ways my life just changed. It’s not the end of the world. I’m not alone; I don’t doubt that for a second. No matter what Nero thinks, my mother would never abandon me.
