We went from a shared routine to barely managing to see each other three times a week. My desire for her, though, refuses to understand this new rhythm, pounding my chest constantly, as if the change were from a lifetime habit rather than just a few days.
Tonight was supposed to be an escape. The apartment purchase documents were finally signed, which meant a considerable portion of our problems had been resolved.
It should have been a celebration—a moment where nothing mattered but the two of us: not the work consuming every second of my day, not Nina’s obligations, not the damn island gossip, not anything else beyond having my girl in my arms.
Instead, here I am—alone—in an empty apartment, with no idea how to deal with this situation, because I have no one but myself to blame.
I’m a shitty boyfriend.
Nina has been pulling away a little more every day. Where there used to be easy smiles and unmistakable surrender, there are now evasive answers and an uncomfortable amount of indifference. And not only haven’t I managed to find the reason—I haven’t managed to fix it.
I could have delegated more tasks. I should have tried harder to carve out time for her, to make her feel safe opening up to me about everything I knew she wasn’t telling me.
I could have pushed the seller and the intermediary to finalize the apartment purchase faster, but too focused on work, I simplylet things run their course. I could have done many things—and I didn’t.
Helpless. That’s how I feel—completely helpless. There are few things in this world I hate more than that feeling. I abolished it from my life years ago, and the fact that it’s Nina—the only woman I thought would understand this need of mine—who drags me back to a place I desperately never wanted to be again… is a hell of an irony.
I lift my phone from the table for what must be the umpteenth time. Still no message. Still no call. When I unlock the screen, the conversation with Nina is already open, and the symbols beneath the messages I sent remain lonely and colorless. She hasn’t even received them.
I stand from the table, dragging my feet for a second, and head to the open kitchen. Dismissing the small team I hired for dinner is the easy part. The hard part begins when I grab my car keys and head down to the garage.
The memories of the last time I surprised Nina at her door late at night aren’t good ones—and I don’t want to repeat them—but what alternative do I have besides taking the risk?
***
The distress on Rosa’s face when she opens the door puts every nerve in my body on high alert.
“Is everything okay, Rosa?”
“It is.” Her words contradict her eyes.
“Is Nina home?” I ask, and my girlfriend’s mother twists her hands in the skirt of her patterned dress.
“No.” I glance at my watch out of reflex, noting it’s nine fifteen. “She left this morning and hasn’t come back yet. She should have been home by now—I’m worried. The last ferry will arrive soon and I can’t reach her.”
The words spill out hurriedly, finally releasing all the concern written across the face of my girlfriend’s mother. I clench my teeth hard, pissed off by information I never expected to hear—because this isn’t the first time Nina has omitted things.
How am I supposed to understand the problem if I don’t have all its pieces? This would be a lot easier if she would just talk to me.
“Did she go to Athens?”
“She did.”
“Did she go to someone’s place? Meet someone you could call to find out when she was last seen?”
“No, my son—not that I know of,” she says, looking around as if expecting her daughter to appear outside at any moment.
I nod.
“I’ll go to the ferry terminal and wait for the last one. If Nina isn’t on it, I’ll think about what to do next. I’ll call you as soon as the ferry docks,” I say, worry eating through every fiber of me.
“Thank you, my son. Thank you so much. If she gets here, I’ll call you.”
CHAPTER 28
NINA MARCHESI
My entire body feels heavy as I practically drag myself off the ferry with the crowd, but the weight in my limbs is nothing compared to the one in my chest. I left Nero alone, waiting, without any news, on what was supposed to be our special night—and I really needed it.
