Because despite my heart’s irrational tendency to want to trust Nero—even after everything, even after all these years—my mind hasn’t let me down.
“I think we can work out ways to manage the distance if you can tell me how you plan to handle it.”
“You’re wrong about what you think that distance is,” he says, answering my first question as if I hadn’t just spoken. “My life is you and Kael.”
He says it with such calm certainty that anyone listening would probably believe him. Anyone but me.
“I know I did a terrible job proving that over the last five years—hell, I did an excellent job showing the exact opposite—but I was wrong, Nina. I’ll ask for forgiveness for the rest of my life, every single day, and it still won’t be enough. But I’m selfish, andI’ll keep wanting and hoping for the chance to fix things. I’m not going anywhere.”
The promise leaves his mouth along with a look I spent countless nights dreaming about while crying myself to sleep, stroking my belly when it was still Kael’s home.
Except now it’s nothing. It means nothing. Because it’s too late.
“You need to stop doing this,” I warn him. I don’t need to explain what I mean—he understands.
“You asked for honesty.”
“I can’t believe I need to say this to you, Nero. But it’s too late. Everything that happened—” I start, then stop myself, refusing to go down that path. “You told me your family and you weren’t a package. Kael and I aren’t either. You’re here to be part ofhislife, Nero—not mine. He’s only three, and he’s the only reason I’m in the same room as you, speaking civilly and looking for options. Him. Only him.”
I emphasize it. Nero watches me in silence.
“I need you to agree,” I add.
“I’m sorry, Nina, but I can’t. You asked for honesty, and even if you hadn’t, I’d never give you anything else. I want the whole package. I want our son, and I want you—and I don’t care if I have to wait.”
“You should,” I say, “because that isn’t going to change.”
“Then I’ll be happy to spend my life waiting for the only woman I ever loved. A thousand lifetimes waiting for you would be better than any single one where the chance to belong to you again didn’t exist.”
***
“And this one is Batman,” Kael announces proudly, presenting the last of his many superhero figurines to Nero.
He’d argued with a little friend at the square and wanted to come home early. The surprise and joy on his face when he arrived and found his father made every exhausting second of the conversation I’d just had with Nero worth it. Kael literally ran into his arms.
After Nero’s declaration of eternal love, I refused to talk with him about anything other than Kael. We set visiting times and days—and agreed that even during those moments, he would call ahead to confirm.
Today wasn’t on the schedule, but I wouldn’t deny this to my son.
Kael welcomed Nero into his life as if his father had simply been traveling for years and had finally come back. That was my plan. It always had been. I just never dared say it out loud to myself—never dared admit my motives for bringing Nero into every small corner of Kael’s life where I found an opening.
“And which one’s your favorite?” From Kael’s bedroom doorway, I watch Nero kneeling in front of the shelf beside his son, asking.
“Superman. And yours?”
“I like Batman.”
“I think I changed my mind,” Kael says, and I raise my eyebrows—because ever since he learned what superheroes are, Superman has always been his favorite. “Yeah,” he confirms, tilting his head back. “I think Batman is my favorite now.”
Even blinking rapidly isn’t enough to stop a stubborn tear from sliding down my cheek.
CHAPTER 60
NINA MARCHESI
Nero:Can I visit Kael today?
I hesitate before replying to the message on my phone. My immediate instinct is to say no. Today is my day off—the only day I truly have to be with my son. Still, I know that would be selfish.
