The words feel too raw. Too ugly. Too small and petty.
Like I shouldn’t have said them out loud. Not when the fate of the realm is at stake. Not whenhehas so much weight to carry already.
But still—my heart squeezes when I finally say it to the one person who’s always seen through me. The woman who’s like a sister to me.
Lyra exhales, dragging a hand down her face. “Amara—”
I shake my head, my pulse pounding too fast. I’m not letting her talk me down.
“Everything in my life has changed in the past few months.Everything!I didn’t choose to be the Spiritborn. I didn’t choose this war. I didn’t even choose to bond with Calryx—it all just happened.And I understand what’s at stake so I accepted it. Iamthe Spiritborn and I will fight for this realm until my last breath.”
I take a shaky breath, forcing my voice to stay steady.
“But I can’t handle one more thing. One more decision madeforme.”
I meet Lyra’s gaze, raw, aching, bracing for impact. “So tell me—what if Thane never actually chose me? What if the bond forced his hand?”
Lyra watches me for a long moment, her face unreadable. Then, finally, she exhales.
“You know, for someone who’s supposedly the strongest and most powerful of us, you are absoluteshitat knowing when someone wants you.” She snorts, shaking her head. “You’d think after all your studies, all your training—after everything with Thane—you’d actually have a fucking clue.”
I scowl. “Ly—”
“No, shut up. You think he’s with you because of the bond?” She snorts, shaking her head. “Amara, that man has been circling you since the moment you met. You think magics is making him want you? You think it’sforcinghim to touch you, to look at you the way he does? To act the way he does?”
I press my lips together, looking away.
Lyra grins.
“You need to stop thinking that everything in your life is happeningtoyou, and start realizing that some things justare.” Her voice sharpens. “And Thane gets a say too. That man is like a godsdamned puppy trailing after you.”
She throws her hands up.
“For fuck’s sake, Mara—open your eyes. Stop pretending. Stop trying to protect yourself from getting hurt again.” Her tone softens just enough to hit harder. “I know the loss of your parents leveled you. Iknowthese past few months have been brutal—surreal. And I can’t even imagine what the weight of being the Spiritborn feels like.”
She looks at me, no teasing or sarcasm in her expression. Just truth cutting through my fears like a blade.
“But for gods’ sake, stop pushing away the one person who might actuallygetit.”
I don’t answer. Because I don’t know what to say. She pats my shoulder, smirking. I groan, shoving her hand away.
“Gods, I hate you.”
She laughs again, standing, stretching her arms overhead. “No, you don’t. You’d be sobbing into your pillow without me.”
I huff, shaking my head. “I need ale.”
“And I need to see if Garrick’s done with patrols, so we’re both on a mission.” She turns, pausing just before she walks away. “Hey, Mara?”
I lift a brow. “Yeah?”
She smirks. “I knew you’d get there.”
I throw a rock at her. She dodges it effortlessly.
And then I sit there alone, staring at the fire, Lyra’s words looping in my head.
I decided to sleep in my bunk tonight. Thane doesn’t even question it.
