He blinks, trying to make sense of my words, then his brows draw together. “What are you talking about?”
He just stares for a second. Then his jaw tightens, eyes darkening—not with anger, but exasperation. “I went back to have drinks with the others, Amara.”
Silence crashes between us—thick and suffocating.
I stand frozen, heart hammering, trying to reconcile that I might’ve been wrong this entire time.
My throat tightens. The heat I’ve carried for days dims, replaced by a cold knot of uncertainty.
I hesitate, my voice unsteady. “After you walked me to the barracks, I came looking for you—I saw Lady Evelyne go into your quarters.”
Thane drags his hand down his face. “Gods,” he mutters. “She’s done this before.”
I blink, my breath stuttering. “Wait—what?”
He exhales—annoyance creeping into his voice. “A year ago, a guard found her wandering outside my quarters at the capital.” He shakes his head, glancing away before meeting my eyes again. “I need to start locking and warding the godsdamn door.”
Thane steps toward me—close. Too close.
I start to step back, but his hand catches my arm. Firm, but not rough. His touch anchors me—but it also stokes the shame now burning beneath my skin.
Because I’m the one who lost control.
Thane exhales slowly, like he’s holding something back. Frustration threads through every word.
“Why do you think I asked you to sit beside me? Stayed close to you the entire time?” His gaze sharpens, his tone edged with impatience. “I was trying to make it clear to Evelyne I wasn’t interested as politely as possible. I’m not even interested in Evelyn, Amara, I’m—”
He pauses, pressing his lips together, as if considering to say more. His hand still grips my arm, but it’s nothing compared to his stare—intense, inescapable, pinning me where I stand.
His jaw ticks, then he says, “After I walked you to the barracks, I went back to the dining hall. I was there for hours—with my brothers and Elaris.”
Thane’s eyes burn into mine. And just like that, the fury I’ve carried for two days . . . evaporates. The sky, once dark and restless, is now cloudless again, the sun streaming down on us,as if the world itself has shifted with the weight of the truth.
He studies me for a moment, brow furrowing. “You came looking for me?” he asks softly.
His grip remains steady, rooting me in place. I open my mouth, but the words catch in my throat.
Finally, I manage, “Yes.” But it’s barely a whisper.
Thane’s gaze doesn’t waver. He doesn’t let go of me. His voice is even quieter when he asks, “Why?”
My lips part but no words come. Because if I say it—if I admit it—then I have to face what it means.
I went looking for him because I needed to see him. And the thought of him with someone else twisted something deep inside me.
Maybe it’s not just him I’m afraid to tell, maybe I’m afraid to admit it to myself.
If I say why I really came looking for him, I’ll have to face what I actually feel.
And now, doubt slithers in, sinking its claws deep. I had been so certain. Certain of what I saw—of what I felt.
What if I wasn’t just wrong about Evelyne? What if I was wrong about everything?
What if what I thought I felt on our walk after dinner—the way his eyes lingered, the warmth between us—wasn’t real? What if I had let myself believe in something that was never really there?
Because, after all, I am the Spiritborn. He is duty-bound to me.
I look at him. The strong line of his jaw, stubble catching the late-afternoon light.
