“Good,” Valen says. “Now tell me, where do you feel it?”
I frown. “What?”
“The fear,” he says simply. “The tension. The resistance. Where do you feel it in your body?”
I pause, considering. I know the answer, but saying it out loud makes it real.
“My stomach,” I admit, voice tight. “Low. Deep. Like it’s coiling there, waiting.”
Valen nods, like this is exactly what he expected. “Good. Now breathe into that space.”
I close my eyes, the fire low in my belly, restless, waiting. A smoldering presence beneath my skin, never fully dormant. It pushes, presses, testing the limits of my control, like embers waiting for the right breath of air to ignite into wildfire.
I’ve tried to ignore it. Tried to focus on the other elements—on their grace, their patience, their flow. But fire doesn’t wait.It’s not patient like earth. It doesn’t flow like water. It doesn’t dance like air.
It demands.
I take in air, slow and steady, like Valen instructed. The morning air carries the first blooms of early spring. The wind stirs the tall grass around us, brushing against my skin, cool and steady, a contrast to the simmering heat within me.
Somewhere in the distance, a bird calls out, its song light and unhurried, as if the world isn’t unraveling. As if I’m not standing here trying to master something that once almost consumed me.
Valen’s voice remains calm, steady. “Don’t fight it.”
I stiffen, but he shakes his head before I can protest.
“You keep trying to push it away,” he says. “Trying to resist. That’s why you lose control.”
I swallow, my hands clenching, unclenching. “I—”
“Don’t fight it. Feel it.”
I exhale shakily. “I don’t want to—”
“Yes, you do.” Valen steps around me now, speaking softly but firmly, guiding. “You want control. But control doesn’t mean pushing something away. It means letting it in—and choosing when to let it go.”
I stare at the torches in front of me, the embers shifting in the wind.
“Breathe through it. Feel the anxiety. Don’t resist it.”
I close my eyes, my pulse pounding in my ears.
“Invite it in. Acknowledge it. Let it settle.”
I inhale, this time without bracing against it. I fill my lungs with the air, letting the coolness of it press against the heat in my core. It doesn’t smother the fire. But it reminds me that the fire isn’t everything.
Valen waits.
I let the air out, the tension unraveling, softening, easing away from the edges of panic I felt only moments ago.
Valen nods. “Now, set it aside.”
I feel fear knotted deep in my stomach, the coil of fire ready to burst free. I don’t push it away this time. I lift it from my core, gently, carefully separating it from myself, but not rejecting it. I envision placing it beside me, hovering at my side like a torch held in waiting. A controlled flame, not a wildfire.
The heat is still there, burning just outside of me, but it doesn’t suffocate.
I breathe in and out, the wind carrying my breath away, cool air caressing my face. Reminding me that I am still here. I am more than fire.
I open my eyes. The flames inside me are waiting.
