There it was, through my hair, behind my ear, somewhere that almost no one would look … a tangible reminder that Jessy and I had been together.
When I looked over at her, there was a flush of excitement on her cheeks. ‘My turn!’
I had assumed that Jessy would pick a similar place for her tattoo – but apparently not.
Stifling the urge to swear, and forcing myself not to stare, I swallowed hard as Jessy pulled down the strap of her sundress and slipped off her bra.
‘Just here – my ribs under my arm,’ she told the tattooist.
I was doing everything I could not to stare at the swell of her breast. The way her curves became even more perfect with every breath rising and falling.
It was weird, to envy a tattooist, but in that moment as she smoothed an antiseptic wipe over Jessy’s side –
‘Hold my hand,’ Jessy said as she lay back, reaching out a hand.
I responded instinctively, immediately. Her fingers were warm, only a slight tension in them suggesting her nerves.
‘Now this one is going to hurt,’ the tattooist said quietly. ‘This is a painful part of the body.’
‘It’s OK,’ Jessy said quietly, gaze flicking over to me. ‘I’ve got Patrick.’
I lifted her hand to my lips. ‘And I’ve got you. I promise, I’ve got you.’
Her smile burst something in my chest that had been held back for a while – and that was when I realized the obvious truth.
I want to be with Jessy.
Not just now, but after the contract was up.
I wanted to be with her. In the hard moments, in the good moments. When no one else was there and when the world pulled us in different directions. I wanted her by my side, and I wanted to be her person.
And I had no idea what to do about it.
EIGHTEEN
… and when I look back, hand in hand with you, we’ll see what we did with our lives, and it was beautiful, beautiful, beautiful …
–from ‘Beautiful’, by These Exiles
THERE WAS A PARTICULAR name for the sort of exhilaration someone felt after getting a tattoo, right?
I was almost sure there had to be. The rush of pain, the corresponding delight from knowing you’d conquered another few seconds of agony to get to the beauty of the design.
It still buzzed through me, even though we’d been inked two days ago.
‘I still can’t believe we did that,’ Patrick said with a grin as he took a bite of chicken.
I tried not to laugh too loudly in the already overcrowded chicken shop. ‘Me neither.’
This place was perfect – the best sort of spot to end the night after another of Derek’s events.
Seriously. Is this my life now? Sneaking in as many moments with Patrick as I can?
Apparently. Patrick’s gaze rarely moved far from my own for long, and each time his warm hazel eyes rested onany part of me I could almost feel the heat tingling across my skin.
‘Does it hurt?’
‘Nah, not since the first day,’ I said with a shrug as I glanced down at my side.
