DAY HAD SLIPPED INTO night while I was in the studio, which had saved me hiding my face as I walked round the corner to my flat. It wasn’t quite a home yet, but it was better than nothing.
Pizza, then bed. Tomorrow I could wake up with absolutely nothing to do for weeks, a blessed relief after –
Ping!
I checked my phone.
Butterflies: You and Jessy just matched!
THREE
Do you think in every world we’re dancing like this, laughing like this, do you think in every universe I found you like this?
– from ‘Serendipity’, by These Exiles
Monday
I WAS GOING TO kill Laura.
Of all the ways to be spending my days, I never thought I’d find myself here, swiping endlessly and responding to painfully dull conversation openers. I’d finally got fed up yesterday and turned off the notifications. Guilt had gnawed at me all day, though, and now I was sat watching the timer run out on my latest match. I couldn’t believe I was going to have to start the conversation. Again.
Fuck it.
Jessy
How’s your day going?
I hit send. Well, it was pretty innocuous. But it was a message – Laura had never said how long they had to be.
Ping.
Paddy
Good, thanks. You?
Not even a minute had gone by. Keen much? I couldn’t even remember which of the countless profiles I’d swiped on this was. I switched tabs and went to scroll through his –
‘Jessica!’
The shout was so loud I almost dropped my phone on to my desk. I looked up as my manager glared at me over my desktop.
‘It’s Jessy, Karun.’ Seriously, how hard was it to remember I preferred Jessy?
‘Is the report ready?’
I smiled sweetly. ‘Yes, it’s in your inbox.’ Which he’d know if he spent time actually at his desk and not monitoring us like a prison warden.
Karun sniffed. ‘Good. And that pivot table is needed by Wednesday. If you need help with it –’
‘I’ll be fine, thanks,’ I said, looking back at my screen as though I had very important emails to address. Truth was my display had turned itself off – I’d left it inactive too long.
‘No phones at the desk,’ he said curtly before striding away.
I gave the mouse a wiggle and watched the screen come to life.
The day dragged.
I’d been so excited to get this grad job. Proper employment, with a proper salary. I could afford not to depend upon Laura any more; I’d moved out of the flat and got my own room.Yes, it was still a houseshare, but at least it was in a nicer part of the city – which had felt like freedom …
