I swallowed, mouth dry.How many floors did the lift go up?
‘But you don’t have to. Obviously.’ He stepped directly in front of me, breaking my connection with the outside world,hiding it from view. Immediately my breathing settled –not, I told myself firmly,because he’s closer to me.
Because I couldn’t see my ultimate doom.
‘I would never make you do anything you don’t want to do, Jessy,’ he said intently, gazing down at me like he had that night at the Cassandra’s Chorus album party. And just like then, I found myself getting lost in his eyes. My centre of gravity shifted towards him, pulling me further into his orbit.
Wait – concentrate!
‘I just thought it could be something fun for us to do,’ Patrick continued, his voice low. ‘Without the pressure of Derek, cameras, the public – but if I was wrong, then I’m sorry. It’s not a big deal, we can still head to lunch.’ He shrugged, like it was nothing. Like it wasn’t the sweetest thing he’d done for me.
And it did matter. To Patrick. I could see in his eyes that the disappointment I’d seen earlier hadn’t actually gone away; he’d just hidden it from me.
Ugh. I was going to regret this.
‘Fine,’ I said quietly.
That wide smile was back. It was intensely intoxicating – and ninety per cent of the reason I’d eventually capitulated. ‘Fine?’
‘Fine, let’s throw me off a building,’ I said with a smile I hoped he was convinced by.
His laughter warmed me, even as we stepped out on to the blustery rooftop. ‘I’ve got you.’
He spoke in reaction to my tight taking of his hand. A breeze tugged at my hair. How could Patrick just … just walk calmly, like we weren’t going towards our deaths?
‘Hey, there. Found us OK?’ one of the abseiling women said as we approached. ‘Careful of that line!’ she yelled overthe edge of the building. ‘Great timing, there’s only a few minutes’ wait.’
‘Great.’ Patrick nodded.
The lady took another look at us – Patrick, really – before she exclaimed, ‘Oh my God, it’s Patrick Tetlow, right?’
Patrick stepped closer to me and curled his arm around my waist. ‘Yeah.’ Heat sparked everywhere his arm touched me. The white top I had hastily put on this morning had been pushed up by his forearm, leaving his hand on the strip of bare skin around my waist.
Which I had definitely not noticed. Obviously.
‘Wow, my daughter is such a huge fan!’ the woman gushed as I watched Patrick’s face transform into …
Well. Work Patrick. I couldn’t think of a better name for it. It was the look he got when he was interacting with the public, his fans – These Exiles fans. Professionalism descended and he was somehow distant, despite being physically close.
‘Can I get a photo?’ the woman was saying, her voice a little breathless now. ‘For my daughter, of course. Could your – could you take it?’ Her question was directed at me, and I instinctively looked up at Patrick – searching his face for approval.
I couldn’t imagine how exhausting it had to be. Trying to just enjoy your day without having strangers always wanting something from you.
‘Let’s take a selfie,’ Patrick said lightly, stepping just a few inches from me and smiling tightly.
‘No one is going to believe this …’
The photo was taken in moments and Patrick returned to my side just as quickly. I tried not to delight at how protected, how close, I felt with him as he pulled me into his side again.
He was with me. He was mine.
The thought shimmered through my mind before I could stop it, but it felt so … right.
Patrick brushed his knuckles along my arm, and I grinned like an idiot. I was getting awfully used to this physical contact between us. And I wasn’t sure it was a smart idea. There were no cameras here. No reporters, journalists or paps to peddle our love story in the next day’s papers.
And I liked it.
‘Amazing, thanks for that! Right, have you ever done this before?’ the instructor asked, her silvery hair brilliant in the sunlight.
