I should have felt self-conscious, playing the first song I’d ever written about an actual woman to my bandmates – but I couldn’t feel anything. Just the lyrics. Just the ache in me. Just the need for her.
And it should never have been me
But it should have been you
It was never supposed to be us
But it could have been true
And if all I have to do is put away my fears
I need you to know your name is music to my ears.
As the chords faded in the studio, I forced myself to swallow the knot that had emerged in my throat. How on earth I’d managed to sing the whole thing, I didn’t know. Emotions churned in my chest, hope and pain and regret all warring within me.
I looked up.
Wes was staring, his brow slightly furrowed. Ben exhaled slowly, shaking his head without saying a word.
Tension gripped me. If the boys didn’t like it, then I wouldn’t know what to do.
‘Well,’ Matt said, breaking the silence. ‘That was bloody brilliant.’
I breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
‘Understatement of the year!’ a familiar voice called from the doorway. ‘Lead single for the next album, is it?’
I winced as Derek stepped into the studio, though it didn’t last long. The man was holding coffee.
‘Right, you guys, I think it’s about time that you broke for an early lunch,’ our publicist said smoothly as he handed them out. ‘Yes, Wes, it’s oat milk – off you go.’
‘It’s not even half eleven,’ Ben pointed out with a grin.
‘And yet here I am, telling you very politely that you need to go,’ Derek said smartly, pushing the final coffee into my free hand. ‘Not you, though.’
I blinked up at him as I carefully put the guitar down. ‘What?’
‘Out, out, out,’ sang Derek, prodding my bandmates in the arms. ‘Come on, I got you coffee, the least you can do is give me ten minutes with –’
‘What has he done now?’ Matt called out, chuckling as he made his way to the door.
‘Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad. Derek doesn’t even look mad,’ Wes quipped.
Only Ben lingered. ‘You want us to hang around, Patrick?’
Before, I could say anything, Derek replied. ‘I will not say it a third time, Ben, get out of here,’ he ordered severely. ‘Come back in an hour, OK?’
Part of me wished I could ask them to stay. Despite what Wes thought, whatever Derek wanted to talk about, it wasn’t going to be good.
The door had closed behind them before I could marshal my thoughts into any sort of order, and Derek pulled Ben’s chair around to face me before he sat on it.
‘So,’ he started. ‘I heard from Jessy’s lawyer.’
This time it was my stomach that twisted. ‘Lawyer?’ Did he mean Anna?
Oh God, she was actually going to murder me.
‘They wanted to formally terminate the contract. Which they can’t do, not without paying a huge amount of money,’ Derek said, looking closely at me.
