Guilt flooded through me. I had really screwed this up. Probably beyond repair.
‘Fuck,’ I whispered.
Jessy held my gaze. ‘Yeah. You’re an idiot, and I want nothing more to do with you.’
I winced, but I could hardly argue with her.
‘I should never have agreed to this – this, all of this,’ Jessy said, picking at the fabric of her dress. ‘I should have known I’d have my heart broken. But, like you said, it doesn’t matter because it was never real. Obviously.’ She took a step back and pulled the door almost to a close. ‘Bye, Patrick.’
‘Jessy –’ This couldn’t be it.
I needed more time. Time to wrap my head around everything. Time to convince her we were worth another shot. But time was the one thing I had run out of.
‘This is over. Whatever this is – whatever thiswas–’ Jessy broke off, tears in her eyes now. ‘I just can’t do it, Patrick. I can’t. I won’t.’
And she turned away and shut the door in my face.
TWENTY-TWO
Is this what you pictured? In your fantasies, in your wildest dreams, is this what you pictured? Was this the goal – are you happy now? Was this the treasure – are you happy now?
–from ‘The Treasure We Buried’, by These Exiles
‘IT’S ME,’ A VOICE called, with a noise that sounded like a bag being dropped by the hotel door. ‘Jessy?’
‘She’s got to be up by now, right?’ Anna’s stage whisper was loud, even from the small kitchenette in the suite Derek had said I could stay in until, and I quote, ‘the storm has blown over’. ‘God, I’d forgotten how gorgeous this place was.’
A prickle of uncertainty crept up my spine as I leaned against the cabinet, bottle in hand. ‘Laura?’
I hadn’t left the hotel room in three days. Calling in sick on day one had made Karun huff down the phone, but honestly, I couldn’t even bear thinking about going to work.
What – sit at my desk while my heart was breaking and colour-code spreadsheets that someone else would take credit for?
No thank you.
And of course, that didn’t matter any more.
It had only been the speed of Laura’s response to my SOS earlier that got me out of bed in the first place.
Jessy
Emergency
Laura
I’ll be there in an hour
It was weird.
The text reminded me of the very one that had dragged me into this mess, all those weeks ago.
Another thump. ‘Laura?’ I called out from the kitchen. ‘Anna? I was wondering why it took you so long to – hey.’
My heart plummeted as I saw their faces freeze.
Freeze at the sight of me – which wasn’t super flattering. I was sitting – not lying, thank God – on the kitchen floor. I was wearing an oversized hoodie I’d grabbed at a charity shop last year when my heating had gone out. In my left hand was a bottle of wine, half drunk and with a lipstick ring around the neck. In the other hand was an ice cream tub. It was nearly empty.
‘Oh, Jessy,’ Laura said quietly, stepping through the doorway towards me, glasses slipping down her nose before she pushed them back up with her thumb. ‘You look … shit. Respectfully.’
