Great question.
A part of me, and I hated that it even existed, had hoped … well, that she’d be here. It was impossible. Derek would never have allowed it. But we’d talked about attending this premiere together what felt like years ago. Back then, I had been looking forward to having her on my arm. Of flaunting her in front of the world.
That was when I’d believed there was something real between us.
Now … now I knew what she really was.
I turned my back on the media without a word. If they wanted to know where Jessy was, they should go hound her. Besides, it wasn’t like I had a clue.
‘And if you’d just wait over here, Mr Tetlow.’ The usher was pointing to a covered area just around the corner that was, thankfully, away from the cameras.
I walked away from the yelling photographers, journalists, influencers – the whole bear pit of them – and reached my sanctuary. It appeared to be some sort of waiting zone, and I recognized a few of the faces hanging around.
I nodded politely at the ones I knew and walked past the ones I didn’t, before finding myself a solitary spot to stand in.I had walked the red carpet just like I’d been told. As far as I was concerned, my job here was done.
Slipping my phone out of my pocket, I dialled the last number in my call log.
Derek picked up immediately. ‘I was watching you live, you looked great!’
‘Thanks,’ I replied, half-heartedly.
‘No smiling, excellent job.’
‘Yeah, thanks.’ I took in a deep breath. ‘Can I go home now?’
I’d known what the answer would be before I even asked, but there was still a flash of disappointment as I heard our PR manager’s answer.
‘Absolutely not – they’re going to want your reaction after the film,’ he said resolutely.
I groaned, loud enough for some of the models standing near me to look over. I turned away quickly.
Fuck. I don’t want to be here. ‘I’m serious, Derek, I’d rather just leave –’
‘And I’d rather just have clients who do what they’re told.’ Even through the phone, I could hear the acerbic grin on his face. ‘Look, this is important. Until Wes finishes at the UN and Ben … well, the less said about Ben, the better. Until the gang is back together for the Songwriter Awards, this is the last public appearance for These Exiles.’
I looked down at the ridiculous green suit the stylist had put me in. ‘I’m only one quarter of These Exiles.’
‘So perhaps I should make you stay four times the –’
‘Yeah, good luck with that.’ There was no chance I was going to stay a second longer than I needed to.
‘Look, Patrick,’ Derek said, ‘it’s the last public event before the awards show, and I just need you to put your bestfoot forward. It’s only for one more night. You’ll have the boys back soon.’ He paused. ‘Have you spoken to Jessy yet?’
That familiar pain lanced through me.
‘You know I haven’t. I told you I’d blocked her. Besides, why do you even want me to speak to her?’
Derek sighed down the phone. ‘Look, I’m not saying you should trust her blindly, or even that what was reported wasn’t true. But I’m not convincedeverythingin that article was accurate. You know these gossip sites like to make things more … salacious.’ He took a breath before he continued. ‘I didn’t send those links to you because I thought Jessy was actually cheating on you. I sent them because the optics were bad, and I wanted you to know what had happened before you were ambushed by it. I … I never expected it to spiral into this.’
Thethisin question was the Cold War approach I had adopted. I hadn’t had any contact with Jessy since our argument. I’d had Derek’s assistant deliver Jessy’s things to her apartment. I had done everything humanly possible to avoid her.
Since her betrayal.
‘It doesn’t matter, Derek, because it’s over.’ Too much had happened. Cassie, Ross, the other men. It was all too much. ‘It’s over.’ I repeated, voice unsteady. If nothing else, I had learnt Jessy couldn’t handle fame. Couldn’t handle the pressure and the expectations that came with it. That came with being in a relationship with me.
‘Your call, Patrick. Let me know when you’re out of the premiere and we can talk strategy for –’
‘Yeah, fine,’ I muttered.
