She stared at me in confused horror. ‘A mistake?’
God, she was good. How did she get her voice to wobble like that?
‘Yeah. I guess it was just another mistake you made,’ I saidbitterly, hating how this hurt so much. ‘Like meeting all those other guys in public, when you should have brought them back here.’
Jessy stared. ‘Other guys? What are you talking about?’
‘Did you seriously think I wouldn’t find out, Jessy? You think cameras haven’t been following you everywhere, just waiting for a chance to catch you slipping up?’ My chest was heaving with the effort to keep my anger under control. ‘You cheated on me,’ I said bluntly. ‘In front of the whole fucking world – I’m an idiot,’ I said, my voice descending into mumbling. ‘Such an idiot, thinking I could trust you.’
‘Cheat on you – you’re not – what are you talking about?’
‘I was taking this seriously!’
‘And so was I!’ Jessy looked bewildered. Could she really not see how she had hurt me? How she had humiliated me? If the articles weren’t enough, seeing her with her ex, inside her house – somewhere she’d never invited me – was the last straw.
I swallowed hard. ‘I thought this – I thought we could be something more, but you couldn’t wait to cheat –’
‘You know what, I’m really getting tired of you accusing me of being unfaithful. Not that there’s even anything for me to be faithful to,’ Jessy shot back at me, her tone angry now. ‘The whole thing was supposed to be fake, remember?’
I took a step away, the pain her words inflicted so tangible I was almost surprised not to see them cut into me physically.
It had been fake. It had felt real to me. But that was it. It had only felt realto me.Jessy had just been entertaining me all along.
‘Patrick, just talk to me. Please!’ She reached for me, but I jerked away quickly. I didn’t think I could continue standing if she had taken my hand.
Pain bloomed in her eyes at my rejection, and she dropped her arm.
Good. Let her see she isn’t going to worm her way out of this one.
I should have felt satisfaction, but all I felt was hollowed out. How could this have gone so wrong so quickly? Hell, I’d been burned before, but this had been a flame I’d willingly fanned.
And now I was the one nursing another burn.
‘And my mother? Seriously?’ I muttered, lost in the memory of the articles that had shattered my morning. Shattered my heart. ‘You know how I feel about her – how she and I … Did you really think I wasn’t going to find out?’
When I managed to lift my gaze, my gut twisted. She was so beautiful, and I had really thought –
‘Patrick,’ Jessy said slowly, reaching for my hand. ‘I have no idea what you are talking about.’
TWENTY
There aren’t words, no words in the world for what you’ve done to me …
–from ‘Wounded’, by These Exiles
‘PATRICK.’ I SPOKE SLOWLY, truly confused at how the day I had so been looking forward to had morphed so quickly into this. ‘I have no idea what you are talking about.’
It was, considering everything that had happened, a relatively calm approach. I mean, he had assumed the absolute worst of me and was accusing me of things that were outright lies.
Cheating on him? And what was this about Cassie? I’d never even met his mother.
What a shitshow this last hour had been. First Ross had just turned up, like we hadn’t been broken up for ages. I hadn’t wanted him here, or anywhere near me, but my housemates had let him in – I was going to be having a word or two with them about letting random men into the flat. And now …
‘No idea? Seriously? First off, your fucking ex just tried to punch me,’ Patrick said quietly. ‘Were you actually going to just watch as your ex punched your current boyfriend –’
‘Current boyfriend?’ My heart skipped a beat as I stared in shock.
He considered himself – I mean, I’d hoped, but I hadn’t wanted to assume –
