I didn’t watch the video.
I knew it by heart.
I watchedhimwatching the video.
And I saw him melt, everything softening except the little creases by his eyes, which only etched deeper as his smile spread.
“I was wondering why you were in there so long.”
He hit it one more time, and I watched him watch it through again.
Then flip through some of the other pictures and videos.
“We had fun,” I said, more from the proof than memory.
“We did. My only regret is that you don’t remember it.” He handed me my phone back. “If I realized the liquor would wipe your mind, I would have cut you off.”
“I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t drink that much.”
“We were celebrating. I think the tequila works slow on you. You were completely normal. Until, suddenly, all at once, you weren’t.”
“Yeah, gin is sneaky like that with me too.”
“Can I ask you something?” he asked.
“Yeah, go ahead.”
“What are you thinking about that?” he asked, tapping my phone.
That was a good question.
It was something I’d been asking myself since I first watched it.
“I honestly don’t know. But…”
“But?”
“Well, past me is right. I am stubborn.”
“Might have noticed that myself.”
“You’re one to talk,” I shot back, nudging him with my shoulder.
“I know when something is worth holding onto.” When I said nothing, his hand went to my thigh, giving it a squeeze. “Talk to me.”
“Past me was right about another thing too. I think I have always been scared.”
“Of taking the wrong risk?”
“Something like that, yeah. Playing the wrong hand. Wasting something even more valuable than money.”
“I get that. But if you’ll forgive the metaphor… the cards are already dealt. Why not just play the hand?”
“Give this a try.”
“Yeah. Maybe you will find what past you found. But this time, you’ll remember it.”
“I don’t even know what trying looks like,” I admitted. “I think you can imagine that my lifestyle hasn’t exactly been conducive to long-term relationships.”
