She’s the first to pull away, and the smirk on her face says she’s going to ask me something I don’t want to talk about. “So, you let him stick around?”
An eleven-year-old should not be my confidante, but I don’t have many options right now.
“Yeah,” I say. “Well, Callie called him, because you know… he’s Callie’s brother.”
“How come I never met him before? And why is he coming around? Do you like him or something?”
“No!” My reaction is way too quick.
Her eyes go wide. “Oh my god, you do!”
My head whips toward the door as if Hayes might be standing there. “No, I don’t.”
“Your face says you do.” She laughs and circles her finger over my very heated face.
“It does not.”
“You look like Jess when I ask her if she has a crush on Robbie.”
“Well, I’m not Jess, and he’s not Robbie, and there are no crushes.”
“Your voice is doing that high-pitched thing. Just like that time Mom tried to get the number of that guy at Navy Pier for you.”
“Okay, enough of that. Anyway, he ordered pizza, and he’s helping Lincoln with homework, and Monroe is waiting for her bubble tea. Why don’t you come down and finish your homework too?”
“I’m done with my homework. I finished it after school.”
God, she’s so responsible—classic firstborn daughter. She reminds me a lot of myself—taking on too much responsibility at a young age. I was twelve when I adopted my new role since my parents weren’t able to keep their shit together. I won’t let Lake go down the same path. She will have every experience a girl her age should have.
“Come and have pizza then.”
She exhales and nods. Thank God—one crisis averted. Now I just need that damn bubble tea to show up and Lincoln to finish his homework. Then maybe this house will start to feel normal again. A sliver of hope winds around me that I can make this work.
I put my arm around Lake, and we walk toward the stairs. At the landing, we hear Monroe giving her play-by-play to Hayes, telling him about her goal for the rest of the year.
That’s when it really hits me—the rest of the year. It sounds so daunting. I don’t know why Sky or Patrick allowed her to do it, but I won’t take it away from her. Monroe is going to reach her goal, just as I promised Lake she’ll get to be a kid. And Lincoln—he’s on cloud nine that Hayes is here. One thing I can give him is a major league baseball player to play catch with.
But as Lake and I reach the bottom of the stairs, and I feel like we finally have a small win, I hear Lincoln say, “Will you be my baseball coach? My dad was supposed to do it this year, but he died.”
My feet slide to a stop before we can be seen. Panic mixes with devastation at his words.
Lake and I look at one another.
My body goes into reaction mode, and I scramble to get into the kitchen before Hayes has the chance to answer. This is not his responsibility—it’s mine. I know him. I know Callie. I know all of the Carlisles. They’ll step in, they’ll help, they’ll want to make it all work. But Hayes has his own things to accomplish this year, and I want him to have all the success he’s dreamed of. Last year was a challenging year for the Carlisle family, and I want all of them to be happy. Hayes getting the Gold Glove—that would make them all so happy. I won’t let my life detour his in any way.
The doorbell rings before he can answer Lincoln, but I see Hayes’s stunned expression. He doesn’t want to tell a nine-year-old boy, I can’t coach your baseball team. I’m really sorry your dad just died, but I play in the major leagues, kid, and I’m in the middle of my season. Then he’ll feel guilty, I’ll feel guilty, and guilt is already drowning us in this house.
I’m about to tell Lincoln, “No, no, no, we can figure it out—don’t put that pressure on him,” when the doorbell rings again. Finally, the bubble tea.
Hayes bolts up from the table. “I’ll get it. It’s probably the pizza.”
“Or my bubble tea!” Monroe trails him.
“Well, let’s see if it is!” Hayes waits a second for her.
Lake puts her arm through mine. “Let’s go get the paper plates.”
This job is exhausting. One crisis is handled, only for another to pop right back up. How did Sky do this every day?
