“No. Please, don’t do this. You can’t do this.”
A tear runs down my cheek at the panic in his voice, and I open my eyes, wiping it away. “I’m not saying never. I’m just saying that there’s a lot going on right now, and you need to focus on your career, and I?—”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
I shake my head. “They’ve been through enough, Hayes. I can’t let you?—”
“Don’t you dare fucking say it, Leighton. I have been here. I’ve fallen in love with you. I’ve fallen in love with them. I’ve done every fucking National Day. I’ve packed lunches. I’ve read bedtime stories. I’ve done math homework and talked about preteen drama. But that’s not enough, right?”
“I didn’t say that.”
He steps away from me, and my heart splinters. “You need to deal with your issues.”
“What?” I feel as though I’ve been slapped in the face.
“You want us to be perfect, but there’s no such thing. I hate how you were brought up and the tug-of-war your parents put you through. The rumors, the divorce, the affair, the constant disappointment. All of it. I fucking hate that you had to go through all of that, so I was happy to put in the time it took for you to realize that you can count on me. For you to conquer all those shitty beliefs that a man is only going to deliver disappointment to your doorstep. And now one time.” He raises his finger. “One time I’m late, and you’re ready to call it quits.”
I suck back my tears that are begging to be let free again. “You could have called.”
He throws his hands in the air. “My phone went down a storm drain, and I don’t know anyone’s number by heart. I was just getting Foster?—”
“Foster,” I sneer, and he tilts his head.
“This is useless. You have your opinions, and I’ll never live up to the perfection you demand. But I’m telling you, you’re not living in reality. You can’t give them a perfect life. Do you really think Sky and Patrick had a perfect life? That every day he brought home roses, and she had dinner on the table for him? Fuck no. That’s not life, it’s a fucking sitcom. We’re gonna fight. We’re both gonna screw up.” He lowers his voice and steps closer. I don’t stop him. “What matters is that we keep turning toward each other, not away. That we choose this. Choose us.”
His words press on the already painful bruise that is my past and panic flares, telling me to abort. Save yourself. Don’t let him too close. He’ll just hurt you and the kids again.
“I just need some time,” I whisper.
He stares at me, and I meet his gaze, using every ounce of the remaining strength I have to show him I’m not backing down.
“Fuck, Leighton, I wish you would’ve told me I never really stood a chance.” He shakes his head, frowning. “I’d already lost before I even tried to win you.” He turns away and walks to the door.
Hold it together just a few more seconds, then he’ll be gone.
He circles back. “Take all the time you need, Leighton. I hope you find the clarity you feel you need but be prepared for the fact that you might lose one of the best things that’s ever happened to you too.” He walks back into the house.
I slide onto a patio chair, bring my knees up to my chest and weep. I’m not sure how long after Callie comes out and slides a chair next to mine, putting her arm around my shoulders.
“Is he gone?” I sob.
“Yeah, he asked to talk to Lake first so he could apologize, but he’s gone now.” She rests her head on mine, and neither of us says a word.
Chapter
Fifty
Hayes
* * *
“This is why I don’t do relationships,” Foster says from the seat next to me on the plane.
We’re headed out of town for two weeks. This stretch is the most brutal part of our schedule. I’d been dreading it since I got together with Leighton, and I thought she had too. She worked out a schedule with her mom since the kids are off for summer, and now that Callie is back, I figured she’d be covered. Guess that’s not something I need to worry about anymore though.
“Seriously, man, just call her.” Easton, who I thought would understand, thinks it can all be fixed with a simple conversation.
“She doesn’t want to hear from me. She wants a break.”
