Maisie, a new journalist in the paddock runs up towards me.
“Koby!I’m so sorry to bother you, but Oscar said you wouldn’t mind if I asked you some questions?”
“If Oscar sent you, then I cannot say no,” I joke.Oscar, my PR Director, wouldn't send media to me without a good reason.
She smiles brightly and pulls out her phone to record in one hand and poises her notebook in the other.
I like Maisie.She has been a great addition to the visiting media.She has more knowledge than some of the others who have been covering the sport for years and has been asking everyone she gets in front of insightful questions.She looks to be twenty-nine or thirty-one?I can never tell anyone’s ages, though.Her hair is light brown with deep blue streaks through it which throws off my estimations.
She asked questions about leading the championship a month out from mid-season break, any plans for changes for an edge on the bike to maintain our lead and a few questions about losing crew members across the sports.We wrap up her questions quite quickly.She shuts off her phone and stows her notebook back into her bag.
“Are you looking forward to the mid-season break?”She asks.
“Yeah, we have plans to stay around here and head through some wineries.”
“I didn’t realise you were married?”
“Oh, nah.Rayna and I are together.I was married, but I’m now divorced.”
“Sorry!That was a little personal of me.Hope I didn’t cross a line.”
“Not at all.Are you married?”
“Yeah.Actually one of the hospitality coordinators, Stan.”
“Yes, I know Stan.Great to put a name to the face.”
“I know!I have spent years hearing Stan talk about you all, and now I get to finally meet you all.”
We discuss Maisie’s change of career a few years ago and how she was determined to do something she loved, which she fell into sports journalism and the struggles of being a mature age student.Going through mid-season plans in greater detail, and how much I am enjoying spending time with Rayna and which sports Maisie will be covering over the next few months.
Talking about my girl has made me miss her, so once we finish up chatting, I head over to Rayna’s pit box.
26
Rayna
May – The Bend, South Australia
I’mamess,Iknow I’m in my head, but I can’t help but be.
It’s irrational, and absurd.But I feel so insecure.It’s all those little doubts building up in my mind.I’m not normally like this.
Flashes of Koby laughing with the new media girl plagues my mind.Why was he so carefree with her?She is so pretty.And young.I know he could get someone like that easily.Why is he bothering with me?
Because he loves you.
What do you know?He hasn’t said it.
But you know it.
Ican’t assume these things…
I’m pacing at the back of the pits pretending to be on the phone.No one bothers me when they see me like this.Thank goodness.I can’t talk to anyone while I am spiralling.How can I verbalise this out loud?How could he love someone who looks like me when women like her are walking around?
Maybe I just need to end things.I can’t handle these doubts in my head.My phone buzzes, and I’m reminded the phone is in my hand.Message from Micah saying a supplier is here for a meeting.I reply I’ll be right there.How the fuck am I going to straighten myself out in the next five minutes?
A hand rests on my shoulder.Turning around to a, “Hey, Raven.”
