Rayna
Sittingdownatthetable waiting for Koby is torturous.I didn’t realise how much I was missing hanging with him today until he came home.His absence felt long and weighty.His arrival home, and in my presence sparked a light inside of me.Cooking at the stove, I could feel his eyes on me.And it was thrilling.Tantalising feelings arose as I allowed myself to get swept up in thoughts of Koby.Things I haven’t felt in years.Daydreaming about him looking at me with adoring eyes.A want and longing to touch me.To be touched.Fuck, it’s been so long since I’ve been touched.Felt the weight of someone close to me, embraced for more than a handful of seconds as a greeting.
To be consumed by someone.
Dominated by someone.
Shaking my head of those thoughts and picking up the wine bottle, I pour the red liquid into both of our glasses.We are just friends; I remind myself.It’s been so nice getting to know each other again, but also picking up our friendship like we have never been apart.I can’t muddy those efforts with my feelings.He’s here because he is dealing with his emergency house issues.Not as my personal peepshow.
Even though he is still as good-looking as the day I met him.He clearly puts the effort in to keep himself in shape.I don’t know how he maintains his surfer body when we are on the road for nine months of the year.Those arms of his.I don’t remember them being so…strong.He looks like he could just place his large hands on my hips, and lift me onto the dining table with no effort.I exhale and flop backwards.I really need to stop.
Koby’s steps break my attention, and my palm goes to my cheek, hoping I'm not flushed.I pick up the wineglass, and take a sip so I can blame any flush on the wine rather than my rampant thoughts.
“Sorry.Just wanted to freshen up.”He takes his seat across from me and looks at everything on the table.“Everything looks amazing.”
“Thanks.I poured, but didn’t ask.”I motion to his wineglass.He’s had a glass whenever I have, so it was a fair assumption.
“That’s definitely needed.”He picks up his glass and we cheers, causing me to pause for a moment before taking a sip.That motion felt too comfortable.Old lovers rather than old friends.
“So, a reno is going to be a big task.Any idea from Liam on how long that could take?”Distraction will work.
“He said he would send the quote over tonight.Should be a rough estimate in there.”
Koby places down his glass to pick up his fork, twirling some spaghetti on the end.I mimic his actions.He takes a first bite and closes his eyes, letting out a moan.The sound sends a tingle down my spine.
He opens his eyes and stares back at me.“Wow, I’m transported back into your folks’ place.Just like how your dad used to make it.”
Smiling at the memory of countless meals at my parents’ house over the decades.“We’ve certainly done a lot together.”
He softens his posture slightly, smiling in return.“That we have.”
We sit in comfortable silence for half our meal before his phone breaks the silence.
“Please feel free to get that.”I gesture to the counter where his phone sits.
“Just in case it’s Aria,” he replies.
One thing that is consistent with Koby is that he has always been an attentive father.Aria is twenty-six, and he’s never stopped worrying about her, or prioritising her.
The gentle scrape of the chair legs against the wooden floors echoes around as he goes to where the phone sits on the kitchen bench.
“Not Aria, but an email from our boy, Liam, with the quote.”He studies his screen as his thumb scrolls.“Well, he has given a pretty reasonable quote, but the timeframe.I’ll get to enjoy the new work for a week before we’re back on track.Unfortunately, a lot of building companies close down over the Christmas and New Year break, so that delays things, as per his email to me.Guess there’s nothing else I can do there.”He places the phone down and returns to the dining table.
“It’s unfortunate timing for sure.”I can only offer.
“If you don’t mind a Summer buddy, those are my off-season plans now.”
An entire summer with my old best friend in my house that I’m re-discovering my teenage feelings for.This is totally fine.
I plaster on a smile and reply, “Of course!A summer for old friends.What better way to spend the break?”
Okay, so I didn’t exactly leave instantly after dinner, but it might have felt like I did.Koby insisted on cleaning up after dinner, and I felt a hot flush coming on, so I excused myself to lay down.Fucking perimenopause.
And now I'm lying down in bed in my bra and panties, the ceiling fan on full and the air conditioning blasting.And I am still fucking hot.Scorching.Heavy breathing.Am I having a panic attack?What else can menopause throw at me?
Deciding to take this mess into the shower, I head in and remove the last pieces of clothing and turn the tap on cold.Not bothering with the hot tap.Give me ice cold.I close my eyes under the water and try to regulate my breathing, but all I can think about is his moan at the dinner table, turned on by the fact I drew that out of him, albeit through my cooking.But I could too easily mentally remove his clothes and wish I was under the table on my knees making those noises come out of his mouth.Shooting my eyes open, I try to shake the thoughts out of my head.My breathing, still rapid, but my body is cooler under the water.
And as much as I try to deny it and blame menopause, I know that I’m in for a long summer under the same roof as Koby, my evolving feelings and no idea what to do about them.
