“When my parents died, and I left Sunshine, I lost all my friends and family but my uncle, and he was not equipped to raise a child. He tried his best, but he wasn’t good at it. Being a parent wasn’t something he wanted, but he was too honourable to just allow me to go with anyone who wasn’t family.”
“Where are you going with this?” I ask defensively.
He smiles ruefully. “Going there and the abrupt change in everything I knew took forever to get used to, and it wasn’t a good change for me. I mean, I learned things, I got stronger, but it was like wearing an ill-fitting shoe.”
I stare out at the blue with my whole self falling, feeling seen. The sadness and loneliness, those hard and hungry days. The nights I sat there wishing I could just pick up the phone, damn my pride, and call for help.
I shift in the seat, trying to cover it all up, hide all my feelings away.
“You don’t have to say a word about what it was like; I can see it on your face. You are as easy to read now as you were back then. I understand you, Sofia.”
I resolutely say nothing.
“Elijah has also felt that feeling, except he lived with it for most of his life. Being here is the strange new world for him. Devon is similar. His family were not the ones who embraced him; that was yours. He always felt like he was outside watching in.”
“Mack,” it’s a plea for him to stop.
“We understand you, Secret. We do. We get it.”
I shake my head and erect more walls and boundaries. “I’m not saying no, I’m saying I need time. A couple of days.”
“Of course, and we will give it to you,” he says easily.
“Just like that?”
“Of course, just like that. Why wouldn’t we? Did you think we’d force you to be with us? Sofia, no one will ever force you to do anything, least of all us. We want you to want to be with us.”
He puts his seatbelt on and starts the SUV.
I sit quietly, thinking about his words, until he pulls up in front of my mother’s house.
Before I can say anything, he gets out of the car, comes around to my side, opens the door, and helps me out.
He doesn’t step back like I expect he will, just stands there staring down at me.
“We’re going to miss you.”
I look up at him, my throat tight. “I just need to sort some things out, then we can talk.”
“Anything you need, Sofia.”
He ducks down and kisses me. I fall into it, unable to resist him, not wanting to. But then, all too soon, he gets back in his SUV and drives away. I just stand there staring at the spot where he left, hating my life choices and what got me to this point.
I turn and walk into the house.
“Danger?”
The explosion of tiny barks gets louder and louder until he’s flying down the hallway towards me.
“It’s only been forever,” I whisper as I pick him up and hold his wiggling body to my chest. “I missed you, too.”
When I look up, Mum is leaning against the door frame with a coffee cup held in both hands.
“Come and have a cup.”
It’s not a request.
I follow her into the kitchen and take a seat.
