Conway pulled back from him and cleared her throat. “You know how much we love you, right?”
He smiled at her. “I know how muchyoulove me.”
She laughed. “Okay, good.”
In the background, Chip mimed jerking off. His black eyes looked better today — they were starting to fade to yellow at the edges.
“When did Mom tell you guys she was worried about that?” Carver said, glancing between them.
“She told me, five years ago,” Chip said. “It was one of the reasons I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”
“Okay, well, I don’t know why we’re assuming these Jews are so nice. They could tell me to go pound sand, we have no idea.”
“No, they’ll be thrilled to meet you,” Chip said. “Then later, once they realize what a giant pain in the ass you are, they’ll tell you to go pound sand. And you’ll come back crying to us, and we’ll be sympathetic, because we knew it would happen.”
“Stop it,” Conway commanded.
“It’s cool,” Carver said, patting her back. “I’d feel worse if he wasn’t doing that. By the way, did you guys see Lillian at breakfast? Where is she?”
“We did,” Conway said. “She went to get coffee in town afterwards. She asked us to tell you to text her when we’re done here, so you guys can meet up and talk.”
“Yeah?” Carver said, his stomach plummeting with anxiety. “How’d she seem?”
“Normal. Cheerful. Hungover.”
Doug came down the stairs, then, looking fresh in a long-sleeved black Ralph Lauren polo, his hair slightly damp. “Oh, good, you’re all here.”
“Yeah, but where’s our mother?” Chip said, with a little stank on ‘mother’.
“Ah, she’s at church,” Doug said.
The three siblings looked at each other.
“Does she know Easter waslastmonth?” Conway said.
“Yes,” Doug said. “I believe she went to speak with God.”
“Oh, is he there today?” Chip said.
Doug sighed. “Let’s go in the living room.”
They went as he ushered them, but Chip said, “Is she planning to be here for this at all?”
Carver found his mother’s absence sort of ludicrous, but he wasn’t surprised by it. He even understood her motives for hiding.
“This isn’t supposed to be a big deal,” Doug said. “This is a chance for us to make sure we’re all on the same page and iron out any immediate concerns. I’m sure she’ll be happy to speak with you all when she gets home. For now I’m fine speaking on her behalf.”
The three kids sat on the couch while Doug stood across from them, placing his hands on his hips. Carver marveled at how different this room looked in the clear light of day — it seemed smaller and far less ominous than it had twelve hours ago.
“But do you see how this is the exact type of bullshit I’ve been talking about,” Chip said to Doug, surprising Carver. “Do you see how you’re stuck doing her dirty work?”
“Chip,” Doug said in his this-ends-now voice.
“I thought we were ironing out immediate concerns,” Chip said. “You know what my concerns are! I’ve made them very clear.”
“Chip, it’s more complicated than that,” Conway said in a quiet voice.
Chip put a hand up to her. “Connie, you know I respect your opinions on shit, but the fact is, you’ve never been married, okay? And if you were, you’d immediately see what I’m talking about. If you let your husband pull this shit on you I’d be furious.”
