I don’t answer.
I can’t.
On the other end of the line, he sighs. “I told you. I’m a very patient man,” he says softly. His voice lowers, just an octave. “I can wait forever.”
My breath catches in my throat. He sounds completely sincere. And I believe him. In that moment, I believe he’d wait for me forever.
Fuck it.
Taking my phone, I stand, moving from my bedroom to the living room. The curtains here are open too, and I wonder if he’s watching. I move purposefully through my apartment until I’m standing at my door.
I stop.
“Sydney?” he asks, voice curious. “If you’re going for a walk, I’ll remind you that you’re nude. I can keep you safe, but I can’t guarantee there won’t be casualties.”
He sounds so nonchalant about it, like he’s joking. I doubt he is. If murdering someone were required to keep me safe, I know Sebastian wouldn’t hesitate. None of them would.
Reaching up I disengage the deadbolt.
It’s loud enough I know he hears it.
“The door is open, Doc,” I say softly into the phone.
Silence on the other end of the line. I can’t even hear him breathing.
“I’ve had enough space,” I tell him, before ending the call.
I turn my phone off, not caring about my alarm, not caring if I’m unreachable. Turning on my heel, I head back to my bedroom and switch off the light before climbing under the sheets.
In the darkness, my heartbeat is impossibly loud.
It takes him a long,long time to join me.
Long enough I wonder if he even will. Maybe this is a line he won’t ever cross. Maybe he’s happier being my dirty little secret, impossibly cold until the sun sets and I reach out to call him. Maybe that’s all he needs from me. All he really wants.
Lying in the dark, listening to the beating of my heart, I wish I could fall asleep. I want to escape into a world of dreams, forgetthat I’m waiting. I want to wake up to his hands on my body, his dirty words in my ear.
But I can’t. I’m almost frightened, trembling with anticipation as I wait.
And wait.
And wait.
When he finally comes, I don’t hear the door open. Only the heavy sound of the lock turning, followed by his steady measured steps as he makes his way to my bedroom.
This would be so much easier if I were asleep, I think, as my breathing spikes and I lie there, pretending I don’t hear him.
He undresses slowly, methodically, without a single word. By the time he finally pulls back the covers and crawls into bed with me, I’m practically shaking.
Earlier, I wanted Sebastian’s cruelty. I wanted that explosive rage simmering right under the surface, his demeaning words and his filthy tongue.
I don’t get what I want.
He gives me something infinitely better.
Sebastian’s hands are impossibly gentle as he rolls me toward him, hand cradling my cheek. His lips are feather light when he kisses me.
Underneath Sebastian’s mask, there’s a world of darkness. He’s shown me glimpses of it, fragments. But tonight? Tonight, he shows me something even more hidden.
