“Yeah,” Justin agrees. “I felt terrible for her, but what could I do, you know? And then one day, he shows up outside of the classroom with a bunch of his friends, calling her names. Said she was a liar, that she was asking for it. And I just lost it.”
I don’t see anger in his eyes when he looks at me, though. He looks embarrassed, ashamed.
“It’s my fault,” Justin admits. “I threw the first punch. After that, it’s a bit of a blur.” He laughs awkwardly. “I’d like to say I gave as good as I got, but, honestly, he kicked my ass. And the next day, they pulled my position.”
“Justin, I’m so sorry.”
He just shrugs.
“And I’m sorry I…” I can’t even bring myself to say it. “I shouldn’t have assumed you did anything to her. I just kept thinking about those books you like, and?—”
Justin gives me a confused look. “What books?”
“Those detective books!” I counter, throwing up my hands. “About horrible men who stalk and torture women!”
“Jesus, Sydney.” Justin shakes his head with a laugh. “Do you know why I like those books?”
“I have no idea. I read two, and they both scared the absolute crap out of me,” I admit. Sure, they were fun to read, but I don’t think I’ve ever been so frightened by a piece of literature in my life.
“You don’t get it. You don’t read those books for thebad guys,” Justin tries to explain. “I read them because the good guys always win. They always get the murderer, Syd. And they always rescue the victim.” He laughs. “And frankly, those books—with their horrible men who stalk women and torture them? They’re not that different from the booksyouread.”
Oh.
He’s not wrong.
“Wow,” I murmur, leaning against the wall and letting myself slide down a few inches. “I think I owe you a massive apology.”
Justin joins me, leaning back against the wall at my side. He chuckles. “Apology accepted.” Then he pulls his phone back out, showing it to me. “We’re going to get answers, Sydney. I promise you. We’ll get proof, and we’ll go to the cops, together.”
I let myself smile at that. Because I believe him. “Thanks. You know I love you, right?”
“To the moon and back?” Justin asks hopefully.
“Let’s not get carried away.”
He laughs. We stay like that for a few minutes, quietly enjoying each other’s company.
“You know what I miss?” I chew my lip, staring at the ceiling. “I miss when things were simple. Like when we were kids. Before…”
Before the accident. Before everything changed.
“I’m not sure things were ever simple,” Justin admits. “I think it just feels like that when you’re a kid.” He glances at me, out of the corner of his eye. “Speaking of complicated… How are things going with the, uh, boyfriends?”
“They’re not my boyfriends,” I mutter. I take a deep breath. “And nothing’s really changed. I’m still mad at them for lying to me, for keeping secrets. Even if they’re telling the truth, and Alec’s marriage isn’t real…”
“Isn’t there anyone who can verify that?” Justin asks. “I don’t know, someone you trust to tell you the truth about them?”
Is there?
“Maybe,” I admit softly. Seb would, wouldn’t he? He’s always been honest with me. “But it’s…”
“Complicated?” Justin guesses, with a lopsided grin.
I think about that kiss. How perfect it felt, how much I want to kiss him again.
“Yeah. It’s complicated,” I agree.
31
