This was different, though. Traumatic in a different way.
“He was going to hurt me,” I whisper, and saying it out loud makes it suddenly feel real.
Alec’s hands pause. He maneuvers me fully under the shower spray, rinsing the soap away. “He was.”
“Why?” I ask.
He’s quiet, for a while. Long enough I start to think he won’t answer.
“Because of me,” he finally admits.
I don’t know what to say to that. I look away from him, wrapping my arms around myself, squeezing myself tightly.
“This is what I wanted to protect you from,” he says quietly. “There are people who would hurt you just to get to me.”
I shake my head. “That’s not a good enough reason, you know. That’s not a good enough reason for you to keep things from me.”
“You’re right,” he admits. His fingers trace my jaw, and he tilts my chin up, forcing me to look at him. His dark eyes search mine.
“You’re still mad at me,” he surmises, studying me.
“Yes, Alec.” The words come out sharp. “I’mstillmad at you. And a quick fuck isn’t enough to fix that.”
His hands drop away. “What is enough to fix it, then?”
I scoff, my hands tightening around me as I look away.
“Tell me.” He takes a step closer to me, ducking his head under the water to catch my gaze. “What do you need from me, Red? You want me to get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness?”
“It would be a nice start,” I snap, glaring at him.
He stares back at me for a long beat. And then, eyes locked on mine, he slowly sinks to his knees.
“Alec, what are you—” I start.
“I’m sorry, Sydney.” His voice is low, deep. Water pours down his chest, cascading over his body. His hands come up to touch my legs, his eyes glued to mine. “I fucked up. I kept things from you. And I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I will beg for it.”
I swallow hard against the swell of emotion in my throat.
“I’m sick of it,” I tell him. “I’m sick of the lies. Being kept in the dark. You need to be honest with me.”
“No more lies,” he promises. He shifts forward, pressing a kiss just above my hipbone, then another on the other side. “I’msorry I let this happen. I let you get hurt. And that will never happen again, I promise you that. You’re mine.”
“You’re mine, too, you know,” I whisper back. “But it has to be us. Together. You have to let me in.”
His gaze meets mine, fierce and unflinching.
A knock breaks through the sound of the water.
“Hey guys?” Ashton calls, muffled through the door. “You’re going to want to finish up and come see this.”
42
SEBASTIAN
It wasn’thard to find the hole someone drilled in Sydney’s wall. Not if you knew where to look.
That image of her in the photo—asleep and safe on her couch—has been haunting me since Alec showed it to me. Once Sydney left to clean up, I didn’t waste any time tracing the trajectory, looking for where someone would have had to stand to take that photo.
