A deep rumble vibrated through the Commander’s chest, darkness pulsing off him and digging into his own skin. I wondered if it hurt. Solas quirked an eyebrow at him, the amusement wavering from his face.
Before he could say anything, we came to an abrupt halt, as if the air itself repulsed me. The air ahead shimmered, a faint blue ripple stretching upward into the night like a glass dome over the trees. A frown furrowed his brow. Solas turned, confusion flashing across his face as he caught sight of the barrier.
The Commander lowered me gently to my feet. My legs wobbled beneath me, but he kept one hand at my back as he gestured for me to step through without him.
I took an unsteady step forward and slammed into something solid. The air pulsed where I touched it, a wall of shimmering blue energy radiating outward from the point of contact. It pulsed skyward like a living barrier, surrounding the camp in a protective dome. A laugh escaped me, bubbling up hysterically and uncontrollably.
“Well, that explains why I didn’t feel her leave…” Solas muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. The Commander shot him a silent glare.
Solas gestured to the space in front of me, closing hiseyes in concentration, a gap large enough for me to pass through shimmered a light blue.
“Why do you laugh?” the Commander asked, pulling me back into his arms to carry me across Solas’ ward.
“The barrier is to keep the monsters out,” I gasped between jagged bursts of laughter that felt too sharp to be sane. “I’ma monster.” The admission scraped from my throat, raw and cracked. He didn’t look at me, his jaw locking hard as his grip sank into my flesh, cruel and merciless, a command for silence.
Then he let me fall. His warmth vanished in a breath, replaced by hard ground and pain that jolted into my dislocated shoulder and shredded skin on my arms. I glared at the inked lines across his back as he walked away, each step a dismissal that stung worse than the injury. He paused, looking at me from over his shoulder.
“From onemonsterto another,” he said softly, his voice raw. He held my gaze, and I felt trapped in their abyss. “It is not what youarethat makes you evil, but your intentions.”
The words struck harder than the fall. For one fractured heartbeat, I couldn’t look away from him. He was my Kingdom’s nightmare. My captor. He wasevil.Yet in his eyes, my pain was mirrored back at me. I tore my gaze away, wiping away tears with a trembling hand.
“Heal her,” he commanded towards Cerilla. He didn’t spare me a glance; his shadows had turned lethal. Sinking into his skin as though they were trying to tear him apart. Solas followed him, cursing under his breath. I watched him walk away, my body begging for him to come back.It’s just the venom,I reminded myself. Did I still hate him? Did I still want to kill him?
“Lyra.” A sharp snap of fingers cut through my daze. Cerilla stood in front ofme, brows raised.
“Hmm?” I mumbled, blinking slowly.
“Drink, darling,” she said softly as she pressed a steaming herbal cup of tea to my lips. The floral taste filled my mouth, spreading through me until the pain numbed.
“This will hurt,” she said gently as I finished the last mouthful. Before I could brace myself, her hands moved, quick and precise. Pain sparked like lightning through my shoulder as she gripped and twisted. There was a sickening pop as the joint slid back into place. I gasped, the world spinning, but it dulled almost instantly. A warm haze rolled in, numbing the agony. I could still feel it, but distantly, like I was observing someone else’s pain. The venom still swam through my veins, softening the pain that should have been agonising. Cerilla murmured softly in the Fae language, soft tendrils of darkness knitting the skin on my biceps back together as I stared at the tree line where the Commander had disappeared. I hoped it would scar, finally I would have a mark on my skin I was proud of.
Solas returned first,kneeling beside me with a worn blanket in his hands. Without a word, he draped it around my shoulders. Only then did I realize how exposed I was. My fingers clutched the fabric tightly. Beneath it, I wore only the thin, lacy scrap Cerilla considered a binder, and my pants were torn and dirty. Dried blood clung to my exposed skin. Between the gore covering my skin and my long hair, I hoped my scars were hidden. Worry coiled somewhere deep in my consciousness but my unnatural hunger for the Commander overshadowed my insecurities.
Cerilla and Solas sat next to me around the fire,speaking in low voices beside me, but their words drifted like the smoke, weightlessly floating away from me.
My head snapped up, eyes following the Commander as he moved towards the fire, each flex of muscle dragging a pulse of heat through me. His venom hummed in my veins, blurring anger into want until my thighs tightened with the humiliating need to be closer. He was clean, and not one shadow was in sight. He said nothing as he approached, stopping on the opposite side of the fire, jaw flexing as though he were fighting the urge to look at me. He sat on the ground, stretching his long legs out towards the fire.
I made a sound, half frustration, half need, and rose unsteadily to my feet. Solas and Cerilla went quiet, but I didn’t care. I crossed the space between us, the blanket dragging behind me like a train. He watched me grow closer, eyebrows pulled, dark curls damp with water. His jaw was clenched so tight I could see the vein twitch at his temple. Without hesitation, I lowered myself between his powerful thighs, leaning back against his abdomen and tucking my face against his chest. His body went stiff beneath mine, his breath catching as my weight pressed into him. He growled, but he didn’t stop me.
“That,” Solas said mildly, “is not something I expected to witness, ever.”
“Exactly how much venom did you use, brother?” Cerilla’s gaze flicked between us, her expression tightening.
“I did not think it was much. But it has been over five hundred years since I have fed from a living being, it was difficult to control,” he said tightly.
Five hundred?Surely the venom was affecting my hearing. “How old are you?” I asked, surprised.
“Old,” he replied instantly, avoiding my question. Ipouted up at him and his jaw clenched as he looked down at me.
“I’m over a thousand years old.” His face looked like it was carved by the Gods themselves, not one ounce of ageing hung on his face. He didn’t look older than twenty-five.
Before I could respond, Cerilla cut in. “Do explain what happened, brother. You suddenly got furious and disappeared into a heap of shadows, leaving me in the Mourning Woodsalone.”
“My little prisoner attracted a swarm of Nightbourne, after her visit to the Fire Fates.”
Cerilla let out a small gasp.
I drew lazy circles on the Commander’s thigh as they talked around me, wondering what it would feel like to trail my hand higher. To make him take me against the ground. What sounds would he make when he came undone? His hand pressed down over the top of mine, stilling it against his thigh. I looked up at his dark expression with a small smirk.
