A healer broke our uncomfortable silence, a petite girl in dark grey leathers with strawberry-blonde hair. “You are both free to leave. Dinner should still be on in the dining hall. I can show you the way if you’d like?”
Dreya accepted her offer and we followed her through the dimly lit corridors until we stood in front of the familiar doors of the dining hall. She handed Dreya a small bag, giving her instructions to apply the ointment on her scars twice a day. I assured her I knew how to care for sutures and would not let my wounds become infected. We both thanked her and walked into the warmth of the dining hall.
Dreya pointed to a far table where our squad sat. “There they are.”
The fragrance of food made my stomach rumble, and my shoulders relaxed. Knowing I would be leaving forced me to absorb every detail, every moment I might miss wherever Riven planned to take me.
We took our trays of food before taking the empty seats at our squad’s table. I couldn’t help but glance at the empty seat where Hadley had sat. Riven barked a laugh, legsstretched up on the edge of the table as he joked with Bohdi, their fight from earlier obviously behind them.
His mischievous grin spread across his face as he placed a hand over his heart. “As much as I liked seeing you in bed, princess, it’s good to have you join us.”
I rolled my eyes as I sat down, but I felt my cheeks warm despite myself. Dreya threw a piece of bread at Riven; it bounced of his chest and fell to the ground. “So, I get marked up and you’re not going to ask me if I am okay?”
Riven tilted his head, eyes glinting as he leant a little closer. “Where? I hadn’t even noticed.”
She leant over and smacked his arm with the back of her hand. “Jerk” she said, lips twitching into a grin.
“Where is Roman?” I asked, realising he was missing.
“What a good question,” Riven said loudly before shoving a piece of stale bread in his mouth.
Orin shifted in his seat but didn’t say a word. Was Riven right? Had he been taken? Killed?
I ate my dried food as the conversation drifted around me, letting it go despite the sinking feeling in my stomach.
I accidentally bumped one of my bandaged forearms against the table and hissed. I wasn’t used to having visible cuts. Father had instructed the priest to cut my back, where it was easily hidden by my dresses.
Orin caught my eye from across the table, inclining his head to the double doors that led to the balcony. I stood, my chair scraping against the floor as I followed him.
Riven’s eyes watched every step I took.
The cold wind clawed at us as we stepped onto the balcony, the scent of salt and snow thick in the air. Below us, the Dead Sea churned, black and endless. Far beyond, the faint flicker of lights marked Stonebriar, the cageI had fled only to fly straight into another. At least this one wasn’t as oppressing.
“Were you lying to me about Roman?” His knuckles gripped the railing so tightly they turned white.
“No,” I said cautiously. “I saw?—”
“Lie better, Lyra. I do not want to kill you!” He cut me off, green eyes boring into me with desperation. His voice cracked, and for a heartbeat, the mask of the dutiful soldier slipped. Heartbreak stared back at me, and I knew there and then that he wouldn’t spare me if I told him the truth. My eyes stung, but I refused to let a single tear fall.
His hands found mine, guiding them to his chest. The steady rhythm of his heart thudded against my sweaty palms.
“If I see you wield water, Lyra, it’s my duty to kill you.” His forehead fell to mine, breath trembling. “I have a feeling that it’s you. That you are the cursed one. But I love you. Gods help me, I love you. Even knowing you are evil.”
The words struck my heart like a blade. The first time anyone had ever told me they loved me, and it came wrapped in rejection and threat. I stepped back, but he caught me, his thumb brushing my cheek as if to erase the hurt he’d just caused—and I let him. Because I wanted to believe him. Because I was so tired of feeling like a monster.
“What did you do to Roman?” I asked softly.
His sigh washed over my face as his body caged me against the railing. His closeness used to feel intimate. Now? I felt like I was in danger.
“I tortured him until his Sanctum came out,” he said darkly. “It wasn’t water.”
My vision swam, my heartbeat roaring in my ears. He tortured him. Because of me. Because I lied.
Something cold and sharp suddenly pressed against mycollarbone. I didn’t need to look to know it was a dagger. I was used to the feeling of a blade pushing against my skin. I ignored the aching I felt in my chest that made tears want to spill down my cheeks.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” he pleaded. “Tell me that you didn’t drown the other initiates.” A tear slid down his cheek. His other hand cupped my face, the blade pressing harder.
“Orin, I?—”
