* * *
Within a single hour, the glorious sunny day has morphed from a tranquil harmonious day in paradise to one of complete chaos as the guests emerge hungover, hungry and thoroughly sick of being at sea. We are in the middle of the Aegean so there is not much I can do about it, yet as I stand behind the bar serving thick black coffee, I try to field complaint after complaint with promises that the LoveIt Holidays head office team are doing everything they can to get the voyage back on track.
Emir’s mother sidles over with Emir. ‘Happy birthday!’ I say, grabbing the pastry from its hiding place under the bar. ‘I got you this.’ I look at his mother for confirmation as I hold out the baklava pastry. ‘I hope that’s okay?’
She nods, allowing him to whip it from my hands. He greedily stuffs it in his mouth, making cute groans of pleasure with each bite, his eyes as round as moons. ‘Emir is simply having the time of his life. He loves it on this boat, and he says it is his best birthday ever, didn’t you? He says it’s like being in his very own episode ofScooby Doo.’
He nods enthusiastically as I glance down, smiling at him. ‘Thank you. That’s such a relief because some of the guests are threatening to complain to head office about being behind schedule.’
‘Yes,’ she says bluntly. ‘But don’t take it personally. It’s not your fault you pushed that hideous man off the boat. Heck, we’d have all been queuing up behind you if we’d known.’
She eyes my startled expression.
‘I didn’t push him!’ I state clearly.
‘Whatever.’ She lowers her voice so that Emir can’t hear. ‘Have you managed to give some thought to Emir’s party today?’
‘Erm, well, we’ve been so busy (what with the police, the impromptu wild party you all enjoyed and the interrogation) but I guess I can think of something.’
‘Don’t bother. He wants to spend the day with you and that handsome dreamboat who came on board yesterday. He wants to play chess and solve murders. Is that okay with you?’
‘Yes. Of course. Certainly.’What do you say to that?Emir is grabbing my hand tightly. ‘I’ll return him by the evening, and you can celebrate with him then. I’ll bring the party things on board once we dock in Marmaris and have it all set up ready. That is if I’m not falsely accused of murder and slung in jail, obviously.’
She bursts out laughing. ‘Obviously. See you later.’ She stops and turns. ‘Oh, and by the way, let your head office know that we’ll be suing for damages. As far as they should be concerned, this trip has been a complete nightmare from start to finish. We’re all beyond traumatised.’ She winks theatrically and blows me a kiss. ‘Your motto is “Your dream holiday or your money back”, isn’t it?’
I watch her click-clack away with my jaw hanging open. ‘Wait!’ I wail. ‘I thought you were all having an amazing time?’ I’m genuinely gutted. They’re hiding it astonishingly well if they aren’t.
She stops to lower her glasses. ‘Of course we are. It’s just normal practice. It used to happen to me all the time when I was a holiday rep back in the day. Did I tell you I met Emir’s father on this very boat? Doing exactly what you’re doing. It’s not called theLove Ahoy!for nothing.’
‘Lovely,’ I call after her, my voice breaking. ‘I’m so happy for you.’
‘Anyway, we’ll get the next holiday for free, and we fancy a cruise on the Med. Do LoveIt Holidays do Mediterranean cruises?’ she shouts over her shoulder. ‘Can you find out for us, please? Cheerio.’
‘But that’s so immoral and you’re so rich anyway and…’ My words don’t reach her ears, as she sashays away.
Emir tugs my hand. ‘Don’t bother. They do this every time. It’s like a sport to them.’
The mind boggles. ‘Okay. What do you want to do first?’ As if I needed to ask. Emir tugs me in the direction of the guest stairs, and we make our way down to the games cupboard (with me safe in the knowledge that we’ll not be greeted by anyone indulging in their sexual fantasies). Nevertheless, I pull gently on the door and knock before opening it fully, just for good measure. I’d hate to expose Emir to any more bizarre shenanigans than I have already. There sitting proudly on the shelf where I left it last night is our chessboard in its box.
‘What are they for?’ Emir points at a line of hooks fixed to the wall with wigs of all colours on. ‘There’s the red hair. It’s the one the lady was wearing.’
‘What lady?’
‘When I followed the horrible man to see if he was smuggling Rolex watches in his suitcase.’
‘Back in Selimiye Bay?’
He nods. ‘I told you the lady he was with had hair the same as tomato soup. Same as that. And same as the one he was putting in his pocket when we found him in the cupboard.’
‘Let me get this straight. You saw Garry Gee talking to someone wearing this wig and he was giving her a suitcase?’
‘Yes. A big one. Maybe it was full of watches?’
‘Or full of his clothes? Ready for an escape?’ My heart starts to beat wildly. ‘Emir, what if Garry had a third accomplice? The Greek chef here on the boat helping him steal things, and someone on the shore helping him disappear?’
‘Let’s tell the captain. He might promote me to being in charge of the investigation,’ he squeals excitedly.
I grab the chessboard and the wig and we hurry up the staircase to find the captain. He is standing at the helm, looking through some binoculars. Just as we reach him, he turns to greet us, eyeing both items in my arms with curiosity.
