‘No way,’ he says. ‘I want to hunt sea monsters.’
* * *
A short while later, because Astrid is still getting ready for lover boy, Shaun and I have allocated the snorkel masks, fins and tubes to all the adults who aren’t diving, and I have fitted Emir with a lifejacket just in case. He looks very cute in his mask and tube. He lifts up a foot to show me his flippers.Why would his parents not want to be part of this?My parents couldn’t even bear to miss a swimming lesson when I was growing up. I feel a pang of love for them. I’m not sure I ever appreciated them for always wanting to see me do everything. Looking back, those French horn recitals couldn’t have been much of a picnic, nor all those chess tournaments.
There’s a light gasp from the group of snorkellers. I turn to see what they are looking at. It’s Astrid. She is sauntering towards us wearing nothing but a couple of shoelaces. Her breasts are firm and pointy like she has a couple of cherry Bakewells strapped to her chest. Considering she is a guest in such a strict Muslim country, she has covered herself with two minuscule scraps of material that, combined, would barely make a tea cosy. I take in the caramel hair, swishing as she glides over to us. It is styled into glossy waves and her make-up is perfectly applied as though she is going on to a film set as soon as her shift here is done. Every gaze is drawn to her until she comes to a stop in front of Shaun, whose eyeballs are out on stalks. As she does a twirl for him, it is revealed that the thong back is… well, a glorified piece of dental floss.
‘Erm, well, um, let’s, erm…’ He swallows visibly. ‘Follow me, everyone.’ He is the first to plunge into the waters. I go after him, shrieking at how cold it is. The brochure definitely said warm! Emir looks worried.
‘It’s okay. You get used to it,’ I shout to him. ‘Just jump.’
He shakes his head.
I swim over. ‘It’s fine. In fact, it’s really warm,’ I lie. ‘I don’t know why I shrieked.’
Emir folds his skinny arms and tilts his head. He gives me a shrewd look.
‘Okay,’ I admit as everyone else splashes about shrieking too. ‘It is a bit cold but honestly, it’s very good for you. It’ll make you brave and strong. And it’s the only way to go hunting.’
Emir pauses to consider whether it is worth it as the group of snorkellers begin to swim towards the island, away from us.
Astrid, who has thus far done nothing but pose in her barely-there bikini, side-steps towards him and forcefully bumps him with her curvaceous hip, sending him flying into the water with a slap. I watch as he plunges beneath the surface.
‘Oh my God!’ I cry. ‘Why did you do that?’ Luckily, the lifejacket is buoyant and sends him shooting back to the surface right next to me as I reach out to grab him. I hold onto him while he splutters, trying to catch his breath. ‘What were you thinking, Astrid?’ I shout angrily.
She rolls her eyes, placing a hand on her hip. ‘You wanted him in the water, didn’t you? What’s the problem? He’s perfectly fine.’
Emir is clinging on to me, his arms tight around my neck. I can feel his breathing, frantic bursts against my cheek. He is anything but fine. ‘It’s okay,’ I soothe. ‘It’s okay, Emir. I’ve got you. You’re safe.’ Eventually, his heart rate calms, and his breathing slows. He loosens his grip and scowls at Astrid. ‘I’m sorry about her. I don’t know what she was thinking. Are you okay?’
Emir nods his head, water collecting on his long, dark lashes. ‘She is not very nice.’
‘Come on. Let’s swim over to the island and see what we can find.’ We follow the group of snorkellers to an idyllic stretch of white rock just up ahead, at the edge of the cove. The waters are bright turquoise, reflecting the sun, and the islands themselves are tropically lush and covered in vibrant green, bushy flora. ‘Look,’ I say, pointing below us. ‘Look at all the fish.’ Still clinging on to me, Emir puts his face mask in the water to marvel at the fish of every size and colour flitting about, darting in all directions. It’s like being in a Disney movie. It’s magical and other-worldly. The sort of memory that you’ll carry with you forever. It must be blowing his little mind. He is growing in confidence with every stroke.
He comes up for air. ‘So, where are the monsters?’
* * *
Three hours later, I climb out with an exhausted and exhilarated Emir. We saw so many sea creatures – giant octopi with bulging eyes, stingrays hiding in the sand on the ocean floor, baby manta rays flipping playfully out of the water and best of all, scary-looking spider crabs darting among the rocks – that he forgot all about killing anything.
Garry, in the sort of shorts only a pervert would wear, approaches our group, swaggering through the snorkellers like a celebrity, high-fiving them en route, nodding, pointing, raising an imaginary glass and yelling out cheers in Turkish. ‘When are the pre-dinner aperitifs happening?’ he says to me. ‘We’re all starving.’
I’m soaking wet, dripping seawater all over the deck, holding on to Emir with one hand and his goggles, fins and diving mask with the other. ‘When are what aperitifs happening?’
‘It’s your turn on the roster to do pre-drink nibbles,’ he says cockily, hands on hips. ‘I’m decompressing after a heavy afternoon of ladies’ yoga.’ He performs professional-looking leg stretches, lunging obscenely, the seams of his shorts being tested to the limit. I have to look away. He’s vile.
‘You’ve literally just seen me get all the divers and snorkellers out of the water.’ Is he expecting me to pull a tray of stuffed vine leaves and feta cheese from my bathing suit? ‘And besides, it’s justyoga, notladies’yoga.’
He taps his ridiculously oversized and showy fake watch. ‘Don’t make me report this to head office. Chop chop.’
‘Can’t Astrid do it?’ I say, pointing to her. After all that fuss over getting to partner up with Shaun, she didn’t even go in the water in case it ruined her hair and make-up for tonight!
I follow Garry’s gaze to where Astrid is posing, bone-dry and leaning seductively against one of the masts. She twirls her hair as she indicates which barrel the guests need to deposit their snorkelling masks in, and which rack to hang their wetsuits on.Nice work if you can get it.
‘She’s clearly busy,’ he says, barely able to tear his eyes from her. ‘I’ll see if she needs a hand.’ We watch him swagger over and drop into a series of lunges in front of her.
My stomach is literally turning over. ‘Come on, Emir. Let’s get you dried off before I take you back to your parents. You can stay with them until I’m finished in the kitchen.’
‘That’s okay,’ he says softly. ‘I’ll help you instead.’
