‘Or that.’ Jackson tuts loudly.
‘Big Gee?’
Jackson shakes his head. ‘Can we just get on with this, please? Stop messing about,’ he says sharply. ‘Either take this job seriously or feel free to go and work elsewhere.’
There’s a stunned silence from the group. Garry’s eyes bulge as though he’s just been told he has Lyme disease and doesn’t quite know what it is. When he recovers himself, I see him ball his fists by his sides, his mouth forming a tight angry line. He takes an enormous breath in and exhales loudly, emitting a cloud of stale garlicky breath.
Repulsive.
He smooths back his thinning hair over his egg-shaped head. ‘Garry will do fine.’
Jackson continues as though he hasn’t just threatened Garry with the sack. ‘You’ll set sail tonight. I need everyone on board by five o’clock at the latest. Here’s an itinerary. The guestlist. The food allergens. The additional requirements. The guest cabin allocations. The menus. The cleaning rota.’
Tiffany lets out an enormous moan which causes Jackson to stop handing out numerous sheets of paper. The atmosphere grows even more tense.
‘Sorry.’ Tiffany tucks her dark hair behind an ear. ‘I find anything to do with cleaning very upsetting. It’s just not in my nature to do that sort of thing.’
When this elicits a deliberately slow shake of the head from Jackson and a hard glare, she hangs her head solemnly before he continues.
‘There’s a list of daily activities indicating which of you will be doing what. The evening entertainment schedule. The sailing course and stopovers, obviously. A map of the route. And finally, the price list for equipment hire and additional activities not included in the trip costs.’
This causes Shaun to snigger. ‘Aye, aye, cap’n. Additional activities. Roger that.’ He salutes before makes a thrusting motion at Garry, who winks and salutes back.
‘Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.’ Garry Gee flicks his ponytail back over his shoulder, wagging his eyebrows at the group. ‘It’s not my fault I have large-penis syndrome. It’s why my whole purpose in life is to bring satisfaction to random strangers on holiday.’
I cannot ever imagine being desperate enough to find this man even remotely attractive. He is revolting in every way imaginable.
Again, Jackson seems appalled. And quite rightly in my opinion. And nor should Garry and Shaun be insinuating that one of the extracurricular activities on offer might be sexual. They’re not horny teens.
Jackson shakes his head disappointedly before continuing. ‘And I don’t need to tell you this because you’re all experienced, if somewhatincrediblyimmature, reps, but we need you to push the premium-stylefood and drinks packages, as that’s where most of the revenue will come from.’ He pauses to take a breath. ‘And put all receipts through Maddie. She’ll be part of the team, but she’ll have extra duties to make sure the accounts are spot on.’ Jackson barely gives me a look.
‘I think you may have made a mistake there,’ says Garry. ‘I’m the supervising officer. I take the receipts and handle the cash, traveller’s cheques and card payments. They’ll all come through me as usual.’
Jackson gives him a cold smile. ‘Well, you’ll be pleased to know that Maddie here isalmosta trained accountant. It’ll leave you more time to spend with the customers. They are very wealthy and considered Turkish royalty, so we expect nothing but your best. After all, didn’t you just say your whole purpose here is to bring satisfaction to random strangers on holiday?’
‘I’ve been with this company almost fifteen years,’ says Garry defensively. ‘I’m an accomplished supervisor. We don’t need this troublemaker’ – he points his finger at me – ‘to join the team. We can manage without her.’
Oh my word.No one wants me. How mortifying.
‘I’m sure you think youcanmanage, but she’ll need to go with your team. If only to learn the ropes. Get a feel for how the customer-facing side of the business works before she’ – Jackson flicks an almost invisible glance towards me – ‘joins head office.’
There’s an audible groan from the group at this.
‘It’s only for a week,’ Jackson soothes. ‘An extra pair of hands will come in handy.’ I feel as though I’ve hit a new low. Both professionally and as a human. Looking around at the indifferent and hostile faces, I seem to be about as welcome as a reoccurring fungal toe infection.
‘Why don’t I go with the Bodrum North team?’ I say, pointing to the smart set of reps obediently hanging off Erika’s every word. ‘They seem a better fit for me.’
Again, this does not endear me to the group as Tiffany huffs that I think I’m better than them. It’s all going very wrong. In a panic, I pull Jackson gently to one side and lean towards him, my voice barely audible. ‘Look. Running around after a bunch of holidaymakers is hardly a job you’d give someone who almost got a first in Advanced Maths and Applied Accountancy, is it?’
Jackson looks perplexed. ‘Almost a first?’
I stand a little straighter. ‘Yes. Only one point offsumma cum laude.’
This piece of news seems to delight Garry, who has taken a step towards us to openly eavesdrop. ‘Normal people would call that a 2:1, love. A bang average sort of grade.’ He nods at the group for agreement.
‘Would they?’ I retort, embarrassed in front of Jackson yet again. ‘And what’s your degree in, Garry? Didyouget a first?’
Garry’s cheeks colour. ‘I went to the university of life, didn’t I? There’s not much I don’t know about stuff.’
