He absorbs that for a second, then gives me a pained smile. “I thought you were upset because I’ve been so busy this year. Away a lot. I thought you were pissed at me. I had no idea you were wrestling with a life crisis.”
I let out a watery laugh. “That makes it sound way worse than it is. I’m not about to leave you for an underwear model and buy a sports car.”
“Hey, this is valid, Sparks.” He leans in, pecking my cheek. “The older the kids get, the less they need you.”
“I know,” I wail, so grateful that they still need me now, but sensing the end on the horizon already. I flick my hand up. “I thought getting super fit and healthy would fill a gap, and it kind of has a little. But I’m still searching for a sense of direction, you know?” I huff. “And now Davis made a move on me, and I’m just pissed off… and feeling… like I’m feeling…” I let out an aggravated little yell. “I can’t even explain how I’m feeling!”
“You’re doing a great job explaining it.” Zander’s smile is kind, his eyes so beautiful I want to jump right into those pools and spend the day there.
I want to nestle into his arms and let him hold me so I don’t have to think about tomorrow or the next day.
“We’re going to find something that lights you up, baby.” He skims his knuckles down my cheek. “It’s your time, you know? Even since you got pregnant with Zoey, you’ve been putting someone else before you. Now’s your chance to really figure out whatyouwant foryou.This can’t be about anyone else. And I will support you in whatever capacity I can. If you want to go to college or find a job or whatever? We’ll make it work.”
My eyes start to shimmer with fresh tears, though these are filled with gratitude and relief.
“I love you,” I squeak, kicking off the sheets so I can crawl onto his lap and straddle him.
He rests his hands on my hips and grins at me. “I love you too, Sparky.”
Pressing my smile against his lips, I kiss him deep, then wrap my arms around him. I love the way his hand splays between my shoulder blades, then runs down to the base of my spine.
Closing my eyes, I rest my chin on his shoulder and absorb his beautiful, glorious energy.
“Hey, can you promise me something?” he whispers.
I resist the urge to say,“Anything,”and lean back so I can look at his face. “Sure.”
His gaze drinks me in, his expression serious. “Can you let me in a little sooner next time? I really want to be there to support you, and I can’t do that if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”
I pull in a slow breath, then let it out in a rush. “Yeah, okay. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I’ve just been trying to work it out myself. And as for the whole Davis kiss, if we hadn’t been trying to get the kids in the car and rush to the airport, then I probably would have fessed up as soon as I walked in the door. But I knew you’d be pissed, and I didn’t want to put that on you.”
“You don’t have to carry my burdens too, baby.”
“I’m a mother and a wife—it’s what I do. I carry all the angst to lighten the load for everyone else.”
“And who’s lightening your load?”
My lips curl into a smile as I lean toward him again. “You are.” I kiss him, reveling in the feel of his tongue gliding against mine, filling me up, completing me.
He moans, gripping me a little closer to him, and I’m about ready to rip this Nolan U shirt off his body and have my way with the guy.
It is Valentine’s Day, after all.
Leaning back with a playful grin, I tell him exactly what I want without saying a word, and his bearlike growl sends a thrill of anticipation right through me. Grabbing my hips, he quickly stands and throws me back onto the bed. I land with a giggle, reaching for him when he crawls over top of me and finds a happy home between my legs.
“Love you, baby,” he murmurs between kisses.
And I’m about to say,“Love you too,”when a piercing scream fills the air and we’re torn apart.
CHAPTER 23
CARSON
I bolt upright in bed, my fuzzy brain still trying to wake up as I blink and look around the room. The curtains are still drawn, so it’s dark, but obviously morning.
Nylah’s beside me, struggling to sit up as I rush to ask her, “What the fuck was that?”
“Harley?” Nylah looks at the door, and I glance that way until another scream echoes through the house and I’m bolting off the bed.
