Her gaze levelled with me. She softened her voice.
“I’m trying to help you, Nicky, can’t you see that?”
I wanted to see the back of her. I truly did. But deep down, I knew I only wanted her gone because I couldn’t stand to hear what she was saying. I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, believe it of Grace.
And even if it was true...we all had our demons. Louisa certainly had hers, and I’d loved her. That was the only connection between the two of them in my mind. They both needed, and deserved, love.
“Stay out of our way, Margaret. If what you’re saying is true then you’ll be just as likely to go out of here in a hearse as you are in a taxi cab,” I said, leaving her standing there,gawping. “I’ll leave the choice up to you.”
I headed out into the courtyard and the gardens beyond, fuming, clenching my fists. According to Margaret, Grace had attended the church service with Eugenie and seen me there – but what else had they seen? How much of it? If Grace had seen the worst, then she wouldn’t be resting in the pink bedroom right now, wearing my engagement ring.
It was a prudent reminder that something needed to be done, and soon, before it destroyed everything for me and Grace and the little empire I knew we could run together.With Grace at my side, I could, over time, be respected again. She wouldn’t be twenty-one forever, and we could have children, raise a family together, and turn Crowthorne House into something more than the tomb it was presently. We could resurrect it, and restore it to a thriving family home.
I could picture it in my mind’s eye now. My wife and I in the drawing room, by the Christmas tree, with our three children and another on the way. It had been decades since I had allowed myself to imagine that dream. Because of Grace, I could see it becoming a reality now.
The engagement would keep Grace content, but only for a while, I knew that.
As I paced among the gravestones, I thought of all the ways I could distract her. There was work, of course; always work to be done, and funerals to attend to, and that would keep her busy. The Christmas ball and its preparations was another fine distraction, as well as her dress, her hair, her jewellery – all things that she would want to plan for and consider. Seeing as Margaret had turned hard against us,arrangements for the ball would no doubt be left for me to organise. Driving lessons – of course, I would distract Grace with her driving lessons.
It was just the announcement, then, that I had to worry about. Any questions could fizzle away in the sea of excitement that Grace would be coasting on, just as soon as her sores healed. This bought me, at least, some time to figure this out.
There was Dorian; I knew I must make amends with him. I would meet up with him, buy him a drink, and explain myself. I’d apologise, make it right again. There was still time. I could set it all right before the whole ball of twine began to unravel.
There came a rustling sound behind me, among the bushes. A twig snapped. I span around and thought I saw something, like a smear of white, escape my periphery. A hush came over the garden and the small cemetery.
“Louisa?” I asked into the muted air.
There came no reply.
Chapter Fifteen
Grace
The gravel crunched beneath my boots as I walked triumphantly from the learner-vehicle with my instructor inside, holding my certificate at my breast. When Nick suggested an intensive driving course, spread over a mere week, I’d laughed, certain I could never master the skill in such a limited time – but I had. I was licenced to drive a car now; another fine string to my bow.
I couldn’t wait to tell Eugenie, but first, I wanted to surprise my husband-to-be.
I found him in the mortuary, gowned and masked, using the trocar to apply cavity fluid to Mrs Sugi. She was a wealthy client who had already planned and paid for her care decades ago, desiring a viewing in the Crowthorne Chapel, a church service, and a cremation with an antique Japanese urn to contain her ashes.
I waited for a moment on the steps, enjoying the view of him at work. I observed his crooked nose and the low, stern brow that had sent shivers up my arms on our first meeting. I wondered how I had ever found him steely and distant. He was so handsome that I wanted to throw myarms around him and pepper him with kisses, even while he stood there, attending to the body.Especiallywhile he attended to the body. Nicholas and his work were one. It was as much a part of him as I was, and would be for ever after, once we were married.
The thought alone made my skin pebble, the downy hairs on my arms standing on end. To think that we would live here, work here, together. That we would one day rot together in the same grave.
“You look so magical when you’re working, sir,” I said, bringing a slight smile to his lips as he withdrew the trocar.
“Thank you, darling. Would you like to take over? You’re back a little earlier from your lesson than I expected. I know how you love to use the trocar,” said Nick, inserting it again beneath the heart.
“I’m afraid I told a slight fib,” I said, holding up the little blue piece of paper. “I told you my test wasn’t until Monday morning, but it was actually this morning, and I passed.”
Nick looked startled, and then only surprised, blinking rapidly – but he didn’t look so pleased. I ran to him to show him the certificate, searching his eyes for his approval, and found confusion, instead, and even a hint of annoyance.
“Aren’t you proud of me?” I asked.
Nick’s hand curled around the back of my neck and drew me to him to kiss my forehead.
“Of course I am, Grace – I’m immensely proud. Now you’ll be loading and driving the hearse by the time you start your course in January. This is fantastic, really. You impress me more with every passing day.”
Nick’s words flooded me with endorphins, but his eyes told me another story. Something about me passing mytest so quickly was bothering him, but I couldn’t imagine what.
