“I wish I could say my father was truly kind, but he was a brute,” said Nick, his hand remaining on my cheek. Once he realised, he drew it away, but kept our closeness . He held me by the shoulders, as if to protect me, to bring a shadow over me that blocked out the vicious light.
“Did Margaret tell you what they say about me, Grace?” he murmured, his voice almost too low for me to hear it. His breath was warm on my face, but fresh.
“She did, sir,” I said.
“And what did you think of that?”
To think that he cared what I thought! I met his eyes with mine, confidently.
“They’re cruel and thoughtless, and ignorant of the facts, sir,” I said. “As people often are.”
Nick smiled that fond smile again, like a proud teacher. I stiffened as his kissed the crown of my head, pressing his face briefly into my hair. Then he stepped away, some conflicting thoughts evident on his face.
“You’re too young to know that already,” he said, shaking his head solemnly. “But I suppose, so was I.”
Chapter Six
Nicholas
The red bulb on the far wall began to blink just as we were finishing up with the body; it meant the doorbell was ringing. My friend and accountant, Dorian Gable, was here to go over the books.
Mr Lloyd was suited now, his complexion complete, his jaw closed with wire and his eyelids held down with discrete tape. Grace hadn’t so much as shivered when I asked her to massage the limbs to help the blood drain out of them, and had taken an arm while I worked a leg. I entrusted her with the washing, too, and admired how she so carefully cleaned beneath every fingernail, and how delicately she held Mr Lloyd’s hands aloft.
Once again I wondered how such a rare thing had entered my life, and why she had entered it now. It almost troubled me. Yes, there were still the cruel whispers; the rumours circulating that I couldn’t be trusted, that I had destroyed my own family out of jealousy and greed, to keep the business to myself. That I had destroyed Louisa, too – mere collateral damage, my ends justifying my means.
Lies, salacious lies.
Grace saw through them. Already, she belonged at Crowthorne, as if she’d always been here.
“We’ll tidy up now, Grace – we can keep Mr Lloyd in the cool room now that he’s been embalmed, and we’ll move him upstairs for the viewing tomorrow morning,” I said, untying my apron and dumping it in the appropriate waste bin. I washed my hands thoroughly while Grace closed the lid of Mr Lloyd’s casket. It was an expensive piece from the Elite series, sleek polished metal with a pearl cushioned interior.
Grace hadn’t baulked at assisting me with the hoist and loading Mr Lloyd’s body into the casket before we dressed him. She was little, but strong, and resilient, what’s more. It had moved me to see her delicate skin condition, making her even more vulnerable than she first appeared to be. Yet I could see, without any doubt, that she was so much stronger than she looked.
Her fragility and inner strength combined was beguiling to me, and made my heart race. At my age, early forties, I should never have allowed it; but I had to confess, I enjoyed the feeling. I took pleasure in these feelings, so long forgotten, being resurrected by this small, pale girl who surprised me more every day.
Grace washed her hands beside me, keeping her gaze on the metal basin of the sink as if afraid to lock eyes with me.
“There’s something I need to talk to you about, Grace, before we move upstairs,” I said, shutting off the taps. I unrolled a length of paper towel and passed it to her, before tearing off my own.
“If there’s something I’ve done wrong –”
I let her ramble a little, muttering about how she’d try harder, how she was a hard worker, that she’d do whatever was necessary. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, that she honestly believed I wasn’t pleased with her performance.
“He had high standards, didn’t he, your father?” I asked, stopping her just as her cheeks were flushing red.
She gulped. “He wasn’t as strict as my mother, but...yes, he did.”
“Then let me tell you, Grace, that you are perfect just as you are. You’ve been exceptional,” I said, making her eyes widen. I could see she really, truly didn’t expect that comment. “I don’t think you’re capable yet of seeing your worth, but you will by the time I’m done with you.”
At that comment, her cheeks flooded scarlet, and I chuckled.
“I’ve made my decision. I’m going to enrol you on the funeral director’s apprenticeship. You’ve clearly got the physical capability, and I know you’ve the mind for it, too,” I said.
Grace’s expression turned pained, almost stricken.
“You’re not having me on?”
I laughed, then, though I didn’t mean to. I noticed that her northern accent grew stronger when she was emotional, and thought it quite adorable. She looked at me, dismayed.
