“He sounds like a sensible man.”
“He was.” The words came easier now. “Very sensible. Very kind. He was… he was my dearest friend. Other than Cecily, of course.”
Mrs. Ellsworth paused her brushing. “A friendship marriage can be a blessing, in its own way. But passion is also a wonderful thing.”
Georgiana found herself at a crossroads. She could leave it at that, keep the full truth buried as she had with everyone except Cecily. However, Mrs. Ellsworth’s gentle, motherly manner made her want to tell her about her marriage to Robert. Perhaps it would be a relief to share it with someone who might understand.
Yet what if Mrs. Ellsworth was shocked? What if she thought less of Robert’s memory, or worse, what if she thought less of Georgianaherself?
“Was it a love match?” Mrs. Ellsworth asked softly.
Georgiana hesitated another moment before making her choice.
“We both required a spouse. Me, for security. And him—for respectability.” She paused, then took the leap. “He had… particular friendships. With gentlemen. He was very discreet, but I knew. He was honest with me about everything. And I didn’t mind.”
Mrs. Ellsworth’s hands went completely still. The brush stopped mid-stroke. Georgiana could almost hear the older woman absorbing this information. She was shocked. Of course she was.
“Oh,” Mrs. Ellsworth said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. “Oh dear.”
Georgiana’s stomach clenched. Had she made a terrible mistake? “I shouldn’t have said anything. Please, you mustn’t think poorly of him. He was a good man, truly. He never hurt anyone, and he was so careful to keep everything quiet.”
“Hush, child.” Mrs. Ellsworth’s voice was gentle but firm. “I’m not judging him. Or you. I’m just… surprised. In all my years, I’ve heard whispers of such things, but I’ve never known anyone to speak of it so openly.”
“Cecily knows. But no one else.” Georgiana’s voice trembled slightly. “I hope my mother never learns the truth. She might suffer an attack of some kind if she knew.”
Mrs. Ellsworth resumed brushing, her touch even gentler than before. “It must have been lonely for you though.”
“It was. But also… freeing, I suppose. There was no pretense between us about passion or romance. We simply cared for each other. He was willing to treat me as an equal, teaching me his craft and allowing me to flourish in that way. Most women do not have that.”
“And now?” Mrs. Ellsworth asked.
“Now I find myself wondering what it would be like to be married to someone who truly desired me. Someone who wanted me in everyway.” The admission came out in a rush, and Georgiana felt heat flood her cheeks. “I know it’s foolish. I should be grateful for what he taught me.”
“There’s nothing foolish about wanting to be desired, dear one. You’re a young woman with a full life ahead of you.”
Now that she was sharing all her secrets, they continued to spill out. “Robert left everything to me, but I knew Cecily would need a proper dowry for her season. The sale of the house has provided her with enough to make a good match.” Georgiana’s hands twisted in her lap. “I’ve been living off the remainder, but it won’t last much longer. That’s why this position is so important. The wages will help us get by until Cecily marries.”
“And then?”
“I have not gotten that far in my planning.” The future stretched before her, gray and lonely. “I hope to keep working but most men will not be as gracious as James when they learn I’m a woman.”
“But you should marry again. You’re young and beautiful.”
“No gentleman wants a widow with no fortune,” Georgiana said. “I shall have to accept my fate. I am a woman of passion without hope for a love of my own.”
“You might be surprised.” Mrs. Ellsworth resumed brushing her hair. “Especially if the right gentleman sees past a fortune to the woman herself. Perhaps a certain newly restored lord.”
Heat bloomed low in her stomach, swift and alarming. Was it possible James could love her? “What kind of boy was James?” She knew it was dangerous to ask, but her curiosity outweighed caution.
Mrs. Ellsworth chuckled under her breath. “There was never a more precious little boy. All golden haired and those big blue eyes. He was a mischief maker, always up to something. His brother Sebastian was the steady, serious one, whereas James was fun and spirited. That was taken from him the day they hanged his father. I was there. I saw the light go out of my dear boy’s eyes. Replaced by rage, I’m afraid. Ihated to send them off, but I’d hoped the cousin would look after them.”
“From what Lord Ashford’s told me, the rest of their childhood was violent and chaotic.”
“I fear you’re correct.” Mrs. Ellsworth separated Georgiana’s hair into three sections. “But I believe the light’s returning to his eyes. Especially when you’re in the room.”
Her pulse quickened with a longing she had no right to feel. “Really?”
“You make a good team. I hope you’ll not shy away from whatever is brewing between you.”
