Real, nonetheless.
The chains have felt heavier these last few months than they have in years.
Feeling again—that's what fucking hurts.That'swhat's hard.
I vacillate so long, my alpha warring with me to keep my shit together, that Lily eventually changes the subject.
"Will you tell me a story?"
I almost laugh. "What kind of story?" I ask tiredly, amazed I'm even indulging the little wolf.
"How about that time your dad tried to make you marry the Henderson sisters?" Lily giggles softly. We don't have to whisper anymore, and she loves when I retell humiliating stories fromwhen I was a fuck face. It helps pass the time and distracts her from her misery.
Part of my penance, I guess.
"Which sister?" I groan.
She laughs brightly. The sound surprises me. It's hard to believe she can, in this place, but she does. "I heard it was both! And that you convinced your brother to take your place, and since Lune would read the wrong names, the nuptials would be null and void."
Again, I groan. "Where do you hear these things?"
"Around," she smirks. "Everyone still talks about you. Like you're just away for the summer. No one even knows—" Lily's voice hitches, and her eyes shoot to mine. I fucking hate that look of pity on her face. So, I indulge her story so she can smile again, and get her fucking eyes off of me.
"Look, I was fifteen. A baby, practically."
"Uh-huh," she chuckles and nudges my foot with hers.
"I got caught with the older sister, Helen, by Patty, the younger. See, Patty and I were in school together. And I'd been flirting a bit. But then Helen saw me by the creek, you know, near the west point, with the waterfall?"
Riveted, Lily nods happily, so I continue telling an embarrassing story from my youth. If Silas from five years ago could see me now. Hell, if Silas from five months ago could see me now…
"So, anyway, Helen caught me in the creek, and one thing led to another… But neither of us noticed Patty had followed her. And she freaked out. Thought me flirting at school was some kind of declaration. So Patty marched straight back to my father's cabin and told on me."
Lily snorts, then full-on belly laughs. "Was he mad?"
I shrug. "My dad was always mad at me. Said I had no sense between my ears. And Gray…" Fuck, thinking about thisnext part hurts. Grayson, the good alpha. The righteous brother, with good sense and a moral compass. "Well, Gray was duty-bound. Even back then. And when my dad told me I had to marry both sisters, Grayson packed a bag and told me to run up the mountain. That he'd pretend to be me, and therefore the marriage wouldn't be binding since he would be the wrong groom."
"What was the plan for after the fact, when everyone realized he married the sisters and not you? And why on earth would he think no one would notice? You smell completely different!"
I let out a dry laugh and scratch the back of my neck. "Fifteen, remember? We were idiots."
Lily smiles and gives me a look no one ever has. Affection.
I've had women smile at me before. Lots of women. But it was always lust and fire and fun. Nothing real. Nothing substantial.
Nothing platonic, with the roots of honest care.
Lily looks at me like I'm someone worth smiling at.
And it makes me fucking twitch.
I sigh and get up, ready to get back to strength training. Burpees, push-ups, arm-stands. Anything to get away from that look on her face.
"My dad wasn't serious about the marriage," I say, pulling away. "He was just trying to teach me a lesson, that I couldn't fuck around with women without consequences. Lotta good that did. I was even more of a fuckwit after that."
I walk to the other side of the cage and begin with push-ups, ignoring the imploring look in her eyes as she watches me.
She sees entirely too much.
