She laughs breathlessly against my skin.
A few more strokes and I go rigid. I catch her wrist gently, keeping her steady as I spill into her hand with a choked groan, eyes squeezed shut, body shaking.
When it’s over, I’m breathing hard, my chest heaving.
Jane is staring at my release on her hand like it’s something from Mars. Then she looks up at me, her eyes wide and dazed. “That’s… wow.”
I huff a low laugh, still wrecked. “Yeah.”
Her cheeks flush deeper. “I’m… proud?”
My smile is slow and sure. “You should be.”
I grab a towel from the dresser, gently clean her hand, then clean myself, keeping everything calm and unhurried so she doesn’t think any part of this is shameful.
When I’m done, I set the towel aside and crawl back onto the bed, pulling her into my arms.
Jane curls into my chest immediately as if she belongs there, as if her body has already decided.
I stroke her hair slowly, letting her breathe.
She shifts, then whispers into my skin, “You didn't hate me asking.”
My throat tightens. “No.”
“I was scared.” She pauses. “I'm always scared people will think I’m stupid. Or too much. Or that I’m doing everything wrong.”
My arms tighten around her. “You’re not stupid. You’re not too much. And asking for what you want isn’t wrong. It’s brave.”
Her eyes shine. “You still won't... have sex with me.”
I keep my voice steady even though my body is screaming. “Not tonight.”
Jane’s eyebrows knit.
I brush my thumb over her brow, smoothing out the frown. “Because when I’m inside you for the first time, I want you to be certain it’s not just heat.”
Her eyes search mine.
“I want you to know what you’re choosing,” I continue. “I want you to wake up tomorrow and still want it.”
Jane stares at me, throat bobbing. “I will.”
I believe her, but I’m going to earn that certainty anyway.
I press a kiss to her forehead. “We can take this slow.”
Jane’s mouth curves into a shy, sleepy smile. “You’re a schedule guy. Of course, you want slow.”
I laugh. A genuine laugh that warms my chest. “I’m an all-in guy.” My mouth finds the top of her head again. “And being with you in that way is not something I’ll ever regret.”
Jane’s breath shudders, and she finally relaxes as exhaustion catches up to her.
I lie there staring at the ceiling, holding her like she’s something precious, knowing two things with absolute certainty:
I want her.
And I’m going to do this right—even if it kills me.
