“Right,” I say.
She nods, already focused back on Ruby. I stand there a second longer than I need to. Waiting, maybe, for something. Gratitude? Acknowledgment? I don’t know. She doesn’t look up.
Back downstairs, I find the yellow top exactly where she said. I retrieve the PE kit from the car. I pour cereal. I sign the school trip form after rummaging through Sophie’s bag like I’m defusing a device.
By 8:32, both kids are dressed. Teeth brushed. Bags packed. This feels like a triumph. Emma appears in the hallway, Ruby strapped to her chest in the sling, hair scraped back. She looks at the kids. Then at me.
“You found it,” she says.
“Of course I did,” I reply, lighter than I feel.
There’s a pause.
She nods. “Thank you.”
It’s sincere. But it’s small. I want it to feel bigger.
On the school run, Oakwood is already alive. Parents clustered in the playground, coffee cups in hand. The same faces. The same nods.
Freya waves at Emma from the gate, her son, Theo running along ahead of her.
“Surviving?” Freya calls.
Emma smiles. “Define surviving.”
They laugh.
I stand slightly behind them, adjusting Oscar’s backpack strap.
Eleanor walks past, immaculate as always. Blonde hair smooth. Sunglasses on despite the cloud cover.
“Three under ten,” she says lightly to Emma. “Brave.”
Emma laughs again, but it’s tighter this time.
I feel something shift.
I don’t know these undercurrents. I don’t know what that comment means in Oakwood language. I don’t know which smiles are genuine and which are competition.
CHAPTER SIX
EMMA
I used to think the school gates would feel temporary.
A phase.
Like baby groups. Like toddler classes. A blur of plastic cups and lukewarm coffee that you survive and forget.
But Oakwood isn’t a phase.
Oakwood is a society.
And this morning, I am its least polished member.
Ruby is strapped to my chest, snuffling sleepily, her warm weight grounding and suffocating all at once. I haven’t brushed my hair properly. I’m wearing leggings that may or may not have baby sick on them. I didn’t check.
Eleanor is already there, leaning against the brick wall like she’s posing for an advert titled Effortless Motherhood. Her twins looking just as perfect as she does.
