Ruby’s cry ramped up, offended now, turning into a full-body protest.
Dan reached down and hovered his hands over the Moses basket like he was trying to cast a spell.
“It’s okay,” he whispered to her, uselessly. “It’s okay. Daddy’s here.”
Ruby screamed louder, in case he hadn’t heard her the first time.
Dan looked at me again. “What do I do?”
That question. That exact question. It wasn’t even angry, it was just… helpless.
And something in me went very still.
Because the answer was always the same, wasn’t it?
You do nothing. You hand her to me.
“I’ve got her,” I whispered, already swinging my legs out of bed.
“You don’t have to…” he started.
I didn’t even look at him.
Ruby was bright red, furious and small. Her tiny face wet with tears. The moment I picked her up she rooted against my chest, mouth open, frantic. She didn’t want Dan. She didn’t want soothing. She wanted me. She wanted my body. My smell. My milk. My everything.
I pulled her close and swayed gently, the movement automatic. Muscle memory. Motherhood instincts. The horrible, unfair truth that sometimes it didn’t matter how good a dad Dan was. Ruby still treated me like I was oxygen.
“There you go,” I murmured, pressing a kiss to her damp forehead. “You dramatic little gremlin.”
Ruby made a tiny offended sound and burrowed in closer, as if to say, Correct. And I will do it again.
Dan stood there, watching.
And I felt it, that strange, sharp thing I couldn’t name in the moment.
Not resentment. Not exactly.
More like… being observed but not held. Like I was performing a role he was grateful for, but not one he wanted to step into with me.
“Want me to sleep on the sofa?” he whispered.
The words landed like a slap.
Because what he meant was: You’ll handle it. Like you always do. I’ll return to rest now.
And the thing was, he wasn’t even being malicious. He was being practical.
But practical doesn’t keep you connected. Practical makes you efficient. Practical turns you into a system.
“No,” I whispered. “Stay.”
Dan hesitated, uncertain. Then he sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his face.
Ruby’s crying eased. Her breathing then smoothed.
I hated how quickly it happened. How instantly her body surrendered when she was in my arms.
Dan watched me again. “You’re like… magic.”
