Cassidy swallowed me down and then licked me clean before standing up. She was soaked from head to toe and her makeup was running down her face but she’d never looked happier than she did in that moment, smiling at me with an expression that felt a lot like everything I needed in the world.
“Jesus, Cassidy.” I pulled her to my chest and held her tight. “I… I fucking care about you.”
It was a pathetic version of what I wanted to say but I didn’t know how to say the words for what I really felt. Not yet. She didn’t care, though. I felt her smile into my chest and knew my pitiful words were enough for her.
Guilt plagued me, though, because I knew she deserved more and should’ve wanted more. She’d been given crumbs of affection for so long that she didn’t expect enough from me, from any of us.
“I fucking care about you, too, Cash. We should talk, though, right? I didn’t mean to listen in on your shouting match with Sam but I did.” She stepped back and patted my chest. “Or not. Whatever you want.”
I blew out a rough breath and turned the water off. “Come on. I’ll find you a shirt to wear. Then… Do you want to get out of here?”
“Absolutely. I can’t sit next to Sam for another second or there will be another fight on the field when I toss him over the stands and then body slam him into the fifty-yard-line.” She took my hand and intertwined our fingers. “I should thank you for ruining this dress. I hated it.”
“Why’d you wear-” I cut myself off and frowned. “This was because of the comments on the picture. I’m glad I ruined it then. Fuck this dress and fuck those people.”
She shrugged. “I can’t care right now. I had a fucking great orgasm and I’m getting away from Sam Ford without a murder charge. It’s a good day.”
I had to agree that my day had gotten significantly better. “Come on. I know what we’re going to do.”
*
“Oh, my god.” Cassidy stared at the giant house ahead of us and at the piece of land off to the side of it that I’d pointed at. “Let’s fucking do it!”
Getting a little mud on my tires at the expense of Sam’s yard felt like a really good way of blowing off steam for both of us. I got out of the truck and nodded to the garden shed. “There’s at least three hundred feet of hose in there. I’m going to get them hooked up and then we’re making a mess, baby.”
Her blue eyes were bright with smeared makeup surrounding them. “I’ve never been mudding, Cash. I’ve never been more excited for anything in my life. Including sex with you guys.”
I laughed. “Liar.”
“Hurry up! I want to fuck Sam Ford’s yard up and then throw rocks through his windows!”
She really was fucking perfect.
59
***Cash***
“Idon’t know how to tell them. It’s been so easy for me. And knowing they’ve had to fight their way back from their injuries… They live for the game and nearly lost it. Meanwhile I couldn’t give a shit about it and never had to fight for anything. It isn’t fair to them.” It felt good to get the weight of my reality off my chest. It didn’t solve the problem but I felt like I could breathe without the full weight of my guilt crushing me. “I just feel like a piece of shit. If I could’ve taken the injuries for them, I fucking would have. Happily. I played all last season while they suffered through being forced out.”
Cassidy rested her head on my chest and stared up at the stars. I’d parked us in the middle of the mud hole we’d created in Sam’s yard and we’d crawled into the bed of the truck to talk. She raised her finger and traced another constellation she spotted. “You didn’t cause their injuries, Cash. You couldn’t have changed anything. And I know that things were probably tense with West and how angry he’s been but I don’t think either ofthem would be upset that you don’t want to play. They’d want you to be happy.”
“I’m not so sure. Football has been the thing that bound us together when it felt like nothing else did.”
“What about Savannah? From what I’ve heard you three came together to raise her pretty much.”
“She’s grown now. She isn’t exactly showing up every day with problems for us to help solve.” I sighed. “I fucking hate football, Cassidy, but I don’t want to hurt West or Hayes. I should’ve told them so long ago but I never knew how. Still don’t.”
She sat up and roughly patted my chest. “Come on. Let’s role play.”
My dick jumped to attention.
“Not like that, jackass.” She softened her words with a soft kiss. Then she pulled my shirt over her head, leaving her in just her bra and panties, and jumped down from the truck. She landed in several inches of mud and the look on her face was priceless and it seeped through the spaces between her bare toes. “Oh, god. Bad idea. It’s squishier than I thought it would be.”
I laughed hard enough for tears to leak from the corners of my eyes. “You’re such a city girl.”
“I’ve never tried to deny that!” She bent over and gave me a beautiful view of her ass in her black lace panties.
“Are you sure this isn’t a fun kind of role play? You undressed. That’s a serious mixed message.” Even though I was watching her I was still shocked when she stood up and sent a ball of mud flying at me. It hit me square in the chest and splattered my face. I tasted mud and glared at Cassidy. “You’re in so much trouble now, baby.”
